The Vanishing Chair Day and Other Stories
by MarauderNymph
Summary: It's an especially long History of Magic class & Zara lets her mind wander over her eventful 6th year at Hogwarts.RemusOC fluff with Marauders & Lily! This is my very first attempt at fanfic its really just a few months in the life of a Maraudergirlfriend
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I am, of course, not JK Rowling and therefore do not own anything here, except the characters you don't recognise!

_A/N: This is my first attempt at fanfiction; i have no idea what i'm doing really, so please review and help me get better! I love the Marauders; Remus Lupin and Sirius Black especially, so thought I'd have a go at writing them... I already have quite a few chapters to this story written and will post them soon if this goes down well_!

It's 2 o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon and we are sat in a History of Magic lesson. No, rephrase that; a History of Magic _lecture_. Professor Binns drones on like a broken record and we all ignore him.

The June sun is streaming in rays through the open windows, and the stained glass panels at the top of each window cast bright spots of blue, green and red on a few desks and the opposite wall.

A gentle breeze floats in, bringing with it the occasional burst of lively chatter or laughter from the grounds outside.

I'm Zara by the way, a 6th year Gryffindor, currently longing to be outside with the laughing people, not shut in this classroom stewing in the stuffy heat. I glance around the room and see many of my classmates shifting restlessly in their seats, even though the lesson has literally only _just_ begun, they too casting longing glances out the window.

Two hours to go and, as hours always do in History of Magic, they will _drag_…

I decide not to let my mind dwell on this fact and instead let it dwell on something that's much more enjoyable and worthwhile to be dwelling on: Remus Lupin, who is sitting one row in front and to my left.

We have been seeing each other for about four months now, four blissful months. His arms are crossed over his chest and his long legs are stretched out underneath the desk. As I gaze at him he moves, leaning forward, tucking his legs under his chair, placing his right elbow on the table and leaning his head on his hand. His longish light-brown hair is tied back loosely at the nape of his neck, but strands of it fall over his forehead and cheekbones. Dead sexy.

Today's H. o. M class is the first time I've seen him since this month's full moon, which was two nights ago. I watched him sleep a while in the hospital wing before breakfast yesterday, but we haven't had any proper alone time for nearly four days, which is part of the reason that I cannot wait for this last lesson of the day to finish (although the brain-melting tedium of the lecture _does_ have something to do with my eagerness to leave…)

I continue to gaze… I cannot see his eyes but I know them so well I can picture the way the warm light of the sun is reflecting in them, bringing out the shades of amber and the faint hint of green.

Just as I wish he would turn around, he does, as though my wishing it made it happen. He looks at me and smiles. We sit there for a moment just smiling at each other, and then his smile turns into a grin and he turns back round towards Sirius Black who sits on his left and has just passed Remus a note.

I let out a sigh, apparently much more audibly than I intended as I see my friend Lily is now looking at me with a mocking expression on her face. I hurriedly try to turn it into a small coughing fit and look away to Becky who is sitting on my right.

At first she appears to be asleep, but as I look closer with the intention of nudging her I see that her eyes are in fact open and that she is gazing across to the left of the room towards the clock.

She is watching it unblinkingly as if willing the hands to move faster.

As I too watch the clock, a movement from below the clock draws my gaze away; James Potter, turning to steal a glance at Lily and trying none too subtly to cover it up by then looking all around the classroom.

I smile to myself at the thought of what Professor Binns would do if he was aware of the amount of lust-filled gazes that frequently pass between his students while he tries to teach us about goblin revolts and the like.

… _James_ – charming, a little scruffy, and a Quidditch legend. Well, a _Hogwarts_ Quidditch legend at any rate. Despite an unusual capacity for being incredibly irritating at times, he's a good laugh and generally a nice guy (unless you're Severus Snape, but that's a different story…) and of course, along with my boyfriend and Sirius and Peter, one of the infamous Marauders.

It is almost general knowledge that he's after Lily Evans, the girl now sitting on my left. But being as he has been after her for two years and she remains stubbornly resistant to his charms ("What charms?" Lily frequently asks me), it seems unlikely that anything will _ever _come of that.

Through the many conversations that I have had with James over the past few years (mostly because he thinks if he talks to me – a good friend of Lily's, _she_ might start to like him. Where he gets this idea from is a mystery…) I think I have got to know him quite well, although I get the impression sometimes that you don't really _know_ those four unless you're one of the four yourself (I think I'm making headway with getting to know Remus though…)

I let my glance move along the row of Marauders. They're quite the inseparable unit these four, and probably the most well known guys in the school.

Sirius, especially, has caught the eye of almost every girl at Hogwarts, (and probably a few boys too for that matter). With his long straight black hair, sharply-defined features, dark eyes and haughty expression, he was always going to be a hit – and he is fully aware of his own attractiveness.

He's not a_ complete_ bastard; he is occasionally capable of random, surprising acts of kindness and is a fiercely loyal friend to the rest of the Marauders.

However, most girls with a brain know to avoid his advances like the dragon pox unless they want to find themselves huddled in their dorm with only a box of tissues and the sound of their own blubbing for company while all their mates say "I told you so". Yup, the typical heartbreaker.

The Marauders' frequent pranks have made them legendary, one particularly memorable one being when they charmed the chairs at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall so that when all the Slytherins sat down they found themselves compelled to sing "A Cauldron of Hot, Strong Love" to the entire Hall.

Of course everyone knew instantly who had done it; the Marauders are the only ones who would have the guts to do something like that and they got in a lot of trouble. However, they decided that to see the horrified expressions on the Slytherins' faces as they burst into song, and to be heroes to the rest of Gryffindor, Ravencalw and Hufflepuff, was worth _any_ number of detentions.

Despite their penchant for trouble-causing, Remus, James and Sirius are all really clever too (which as a matter of fact is what makes their pranks so brilliant); this means that they still do very well when it comes to actual work.

Peter; (short, blonde and a bit chubby with a vague air of desperation about everything he does), doesn't have the same magical ability as the other three and mostly scrapes by with help from his friends. He's the odd one out in a way; he seems so unlike the other three, but he's a close friend to them none the less and I suppose I can't really judge as I don't know him all that well…

What _is_ clear is that he idolizes them, (James' Quidditch skills in particular) which gets a little irritating at times and, I think, just encourages James' and Sirius' arrogance. I mean, they're not _horribly_ stuck-up, but they're incredibly self-assured to say the least and having a constant fan in their group adds to the size of their already ample egos.

Remus is confident, witty and charming, as James and Sirius are, but adds to that an air of self-deprecation and a shyness that appeals much, _much_ more than his friends' arrogance (although I suppose I _would_ think that). The amused glance and quirk of an eyebrow he gives me whenever Peter is gushing over James as he plays with the Snitch is priceless.

Any amount of popularity, admiration, or the longing gazes of many Hogwarts girls (that I always see, but he never notices) cannot break through that and, despite coming out of his shell a bit since first and second year, Remus has stayed down-to-earth and approachable.

I let myself now think back to the time when I first realised I had a crush on Remus, and how we finally got together…

I'd always liked him best out of the four and we were quite good friends, not especially close, but friends all the same. We shared conversations in the common room and he always made me laugh. He sometimes helped me with my homework too; Defence against the Dark Arts was, and is, always his best subject and my weakness, but whenever Remus explained it to me it made perfect sense.

Now, when I look back on that time; I think I probably always harboured a little crush on him. Sometimes, even if I didn't really need help with work, I'd ask him for help just to hear him explain it to me and as an excuse to spend time with him.

He could always brighten up a hard day just by smiling at me or asking how I was.

I am also one of the very few students who know he's a werewolf.

One night in late fifth year I had been lying in bed unable to sleep. Looking for my book, I realised I had left it in the common room and so decided to go down and fetch it. As I tip-toed down the stairs; I heard voices, talking quickly and quietly.

"…you've put us all at risk now; we were trusted with this secret by our best friend _and_ Dumbledore!"

"I _know _Prongs! I _know_ it was stupid but I wasn't thinking, I just-"

It was Sirius and James, I was certain. I knew I shouldn't have been eavesdropping but I couldn't help it; I moved close to the open doorway to the common room.

"What if Remus gets expelled? _Snape_ knows! Do you really think he can keep this secret? He hates the lot of us and if he can cause trouble, he will."

"Dumbledore won't let him; he's got Snape in his office now…" Sirius sounded exasperated and guilty.

"That's not even the point Padfoot!" James' voice was still quiet but I could sense the anger in it.

Whatever Sirius had done, it must have been pretty terrible for James, of all people, to talk to him like this…

"… Think what might have happened if I hadn't pulled Snape back; he could have been _killed_ if he'd reached the end of the tunnel; and Remus would have had to live with that on his conscience – did you _want_ to ruin his life?… he'd have woken up tomorrow as a human to find that he'd killed Severus… he doesn't know what he's doing when the wolf takes over!"

_Wolf?_ It clicked in my mind… the way Remus disappeared from classes at the same time each month, his often sickly appearance when he returned, the scars I had once noticed on his arms…

These thoughts were whizzing through my head. I couldn't stand up; I slumped down onto the bottom step.

The voices had stopped. I suddenly realised that the stair had creaked as I sat down. _They know I'm here!_

Before I could think to run back upstairs, James appeared in the doorway.

"Zara! Is that you?... How much did you hear?"

He pulled me up by my arm and took me into the common room where Sirius was sitting by the dying fire, his head in his hands.

He looked up when I came in, his eyes growing wide; "Shit Zara! What the _hell_ were you doing listening to us?"

"I… I was coming to get my book"; I pointed to the table where it lay to validate my excuse "…and I heard you… Remus is a-a- _werewolf_?"

We sat there for at least an hour whilst they explained to me everything about Remus' condition and what had happened that night, and begged me not to say a word or to think any less of Remus now that I knew.

"No, of course not! Why would I? Remus is a great guy… so what if he's a werewolf, it's not his fault. I mean, it was a shock to find out, but it doesn't _bother_ me."

James smiled. "Thanks Zara… I'll tell Remus that you know; it's only fair that he should know who knows."

"Of course… should I say something to him about it?" I suddenly realised I wouldn't know what to say if I did.

Sirius chipped in; "Nah, just act normal, that's all he'll want. _He_ might talk to _you_ about it, but don't push him."

After that I went to bed thinking of Remus and all the times I had spoken to him, all the clues I should have pieced together earlier. Werewolves are despised outcasts in the wizarding community; _dark creatures_. Lying there that night, I marvelled at how such a smart, kind, funny guy could possibly be classed in that category, and suffer such prejudice for a part of himself that he could not control.

Remus and I behaved as normal for a week or so, the secret unspoken, until one day after he had helped me with homework, I opened my Defence textbook to find a note slipped inside.

_Dear Zara,_

_I'm afraid I couldn't really think of how to raise this particular issue in person… "Hi Zara, so you know I turn into a vicious hairy beast once a month eh? Fancy a chat?" didn't sound all that great in my head, so I'm going to put it on paper instead._

_Firstly, thank you for not telling anyone what you know. The only other people who know are Sirius, James, Peter, Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey. Oh and Snape now too apparently… But anyway most people, naturally, would freak out if they knew what I am and parents would probably demand I be kicked out the school. So I really appreciate you not spreading it around. And I also appreciate you not freaking out. Or if you are, then you've hidden it spectacularly well. _

_I won't go on about this for too long 'cause I've said what I wanted to really. I just want to add that of all the people who could have been lurking by the doorway (probably wearing those huge pink pygmy-puff slippers) and listening to James and Sirius, I'm glad it was you. I know I can trust you with this secret and I hope we'll stay good friends._

_Love, Remus._

And we _were_ good friends. _Just_ friends, for almost a year until the day that kicked off all the fuzzy feelings...


	2. Chapter 2

This particular day; the fuzzy feeling day; was in early January this year, so five months ago. Becky and I had been pestered by Peeves on our way to Charms; he blocked the path and started asking riddles. When we finally got past him, we rushed, thinking we were late and as we burst into the classroom I tripped over the step and fell flat on my face.

Professor Flitwick was not yet there but our dramatic entrance had caused everyone to stop and stare. As I pulled myself to my feet, seeing my already-embarrassing position and a ready audience, Sirius thought it'd be hilarious to make my bag strap snap.

Before I knew what was happening, my possessions were all over the floor and soaked in green ink. The classroom erupted with laughter and Sirius, leaning back arrogantly with his chair on two legs, smirked at me and sniggered. Remus was the only person besides Becky and Lily who came over to help me clear up the contents of my bag.

Just as I was on the verge of tears at my double-humiliation, he looked up at me, put his hand to my cheek and smiled conspiratorially before turning round, pointing his wand and Vanishing the chair from below Sirius…

You could almost see the smirk slide off Sirius' face as he landed on his backside and everybody's laughter – now hysterical – was directed at him. I smiled gratefully at Remus, my cheek still inexplicably tingling from where he had touched it.

Before I could open my mouth to thank him however, Professor Flitwick entered the room enquiring as to why Mr Black found the floor preferable to a chair, and Remus was back in his seat laughing with James.

* * *

Later that night I returned to the Gryffindor common room with Lily and Becky at about eleven o'clock. We had spent a pleasant evening sitting in the Room of Requirement, which always gave us a warm fire, a big fluffy rug and huge squishy cushions whenever we met up every Wednesday evening to have a laugh or a gossip with a couple if Ravenclaw friends.

That particular night the topic of discussion was my embarrassment in Charms that afternoon and Remus' knight-in-shining-armour moment. At this point I was still trying to shrug off the growing attraction I could feel towards Remus. There was no way I'd have a chance with him even if I _did_ want him anyway. With his quiet, intelligent good looks and wicked sense of humour he could have almost any girl he wanted and I wasn't (and am not) the kind of girl that stood out over others. Pretty maybe, but definitely not beautiful; short with blue eyes and dark brown hair that is cropped in layers to just above my shoulders with a long slightly messy fringe. I'm clumsy and inelegant; I have a screeching laugh that even annoys _me_, I smile too much and am completely uncoordinated.

Even so, when Serena pointed out that Remus wouldn't embarrass one of his best mates for just _anybody_ and Lily, Becky and Violet all agreed, I felt a blush creep up my face and I found myself hoping desperately that maybe there was the slightest, midgiest, baby-Niffler-sized chance they were right…

Anyway, we returned at elevenish, climbing through the portrait hole to see the room empty except for two figures still sat by the fire huddled over a wizards' chess board. Remus and James.

They looked up and smiled when the three of us entered, and I saw James flash a teasing look at Remus who glared at him before turning back to us. A brief thought struck me – had they been talking about the same as us? No, of course not, it wasn't even that big a deal; still, I should try and find a moment to actually thank him…

"Right girls, I'm off to bed, I'll see you at breakfast" said Lily, smiling at us and giving us a little wave as she turned towards our dormitory.

"Need tucking in, Evans?" drawled James, flashing her a flirtatious grin, which was greeted by one of Lily's trademark Withering Glances and an extremely unladylike hand gesture before she whirled around and began to climb the steps.

James looked momentarily disappointed before shrugging it off.

"Is that all? She must be tired… usually I'd be levitating upside down by now…" He turned his attention back to the game, where his white queen was hurling abuse at him for taking so long to make a decision.

Becky yawned loudly. "I'm going to bed too, um, cya tomorrow guys".

Remus smiled at her and said "Night".

James muttered the same, his attention still firmly on the chessboard.

"Are you coming too Zara?" asked Becky.

"Um, yeah in a bit, I'll… I'll catch you up in a minute", I said, deciding now was as good a time as any to thank Remus.

I heard Becky's footsteps disappearing up the stairs and then it was just me, Remus and James left. I could feel a tension between myself and Remus that had never been there before; I'd always been really comfortable around him…I sat down on the one armchair that was in between them and turned to him.

"So…", began Remus, but my nerves made me jumpy and I blurted out stupidly loud:

"Thanks-thankyou-for-Sirius-chair-disappeary-thing-spell-I-I-mean-you-didn't-have-to-and-you-did-which-was-cool-and-nice-and-_you're_-really-um-cool-and-errr-nice-but-I-don't-really-don't-mean-well-no-I-do-you-_are-_very-more-than-nice-I'v-got-eyes-well-um-but no-I-just-wanted-to-thankyou-and-now-I-have-thanked-you-um-yeaahh".

I had been focusing on a point on the arm of my chair where the seam of the fabric had split and was picking at it so the stuffing was coming out. I now looked up to see two amused faces looking at me. James looked at me in disbelief, but Remus smiled kindly and looked faintly embarrassed at the (incoherent) praise I had given him.

"Bloody hell Zara did you bang your head when you tripped over the doorstep?" asked James, "Or did Moony's heroics just make you tongue-tied?"

For the third time that day I blushed furiously and for the second time Remus came to my rescue.

"Thank you James, now go sob over the picture of Lily you keep under your pillow".

James looked daggers at him but could not respond. The defensive look that crossed James' face implied that Remus had not just been joking about the picture of Lily. _Interesting…_

In a split second though, James looked at me, the old grin quickly back on his face.

"Ah, Zara knows I'm just kidding". He made a move on the chessboard. "Checkmate".

Remus looked thunderstruck. James lay back in his chair.

"_That_ was my first victory over Remus here in at least a year. One mention of you Zara and his strategy went to pot". An evil grin spread across his face… "Clearly you both have the same bewildering effect on each other".

Looking satisfied at both his victories, James said in an exaggeratedly jolly tone of voice; "Hmm, now I think it's time for me to turn in and leave you two to enjoy this awkward silence all to yourselves".

He grinned and turned to leave; "Night guys".

Awkward silence indeed. We both stared into the fire for at least a whole minute.

"Im sorr-" I began…

"No, _I'm_ so-"

"No, _I'm _sorry, really". I finally cut across him. "I succeeded in embarrassing both of us with my stupid outburst. It just kind of happened… all I wanted to say was thankyou. I mean I made such a spectacle of myself no wonder you were distracted from the game…".

I looked up at Remus and we both smiled, nervously at first, and then broke randomly into laughter. His whole face lit up when he laughed and his long hair fell into his eyes in a way that made me want to reach out and stroke it back. The laughter eventually died down and I felt much more relaxed.

"It _was_ a pretty spectacular thankyou", said Remus shooting me a teasing glance, "but I…I… thought it was cute". He looked down at his hands and I let my mouth fall open unattractively before snapping it shut and smiling nervously at him until he looked at me again.

"Well, um, I should go to bed, it's late", he said, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah me too". I suddenly realised how tired I was. "I'll cya tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, sure".

He fixed me with one last piercing glance during which I noticed how the firelight emphasised the shape of his face; how it sloped gently inwards from his defined cheekbones towards his perfect, slightly pointed chin.

With a quick smile that snapped me out of my reverie, he turned and sped off up the stairs to the boys' dorm.

* * *

_A/N: Well there's chapter 2! Thankyou to those who took time to review chapter 1. Any ideas or criticisms are most welcome as this fanfiction business is still quite alien to me! Hope you enjoyed this :)_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So here's chapter 3! Thankyou to all of you who have read my story... i don't want to go on and on about reviews but pwweeease review if possible (does big wide house-elf eyes) i'd really love to know what you think, even if you're not thinking nice things... and if you are then thats fabby :D anyway, here goes - enjoy...**

* * *

The next few weeks passed by in a haze of Remus-inspired daydreams and many bruises. All of which were caused by table legs, boxes, chairs or walls that rudely interrupted one of the aforementioned daydreams I enjoyed whilst making my way to lessons or mealtimes. 

I saw Remus quite a lot, but never for anything more than a quick chat between lessons. He and his mates were probably planning for yet another spectacular prank, as they could be seen most evenings huddled around the common room fireplace deep in muttered conversation.

I frequently stole glances across at Remus, who looked so hot when he was doing his Formulating a Plan face, and occasionally thought I saw him turn away from me just as I turned to look at him, but I decided I probably imagined it.

Being as I didn't much fancy embarrassing myself in front of Sirius, James and Peter, who made it very clear whenever they could that they knew I had a huge crush on their friend, I never went over to their corner. Or indeed approached him at all unless he was on his own, which I was coming to realise was almost never.

Towards the end of the month, with February approaching, the talk of the castle was the annual Valentine's Ball. Dress robes had to be planned and, of course, dates found.

Lily was busy rejecting James' increasingly dramatic proposals (he had even charmed the stars in the Great Hall's dinner-time night sky to form the words "Lily Evans, will you be my date? Yours, always, James Potter"; this of course drew a fierce scowl from Lily). I personally tried to persuade her to go with him just to shut him up; it was _me _who was getting pestered for ideas on what might win her over… She refused, and instead accepted the offer of a rather suave-looking Ravenclaw 7th year called Adrian.

I was, of course, dateless. There _were_ still three weeks before the Ball, but most people already had dates lined up. I wasn't usually the type to let lack of romance get me down, but the Valentines Ball was a situation in which a date was absolutely necessary.

My imagination created all sorts of scenarios in which Remus invited me to the Ball, but in reality that possibility seemed more unlikely by the day.

"Maybe he's just shy", said Becky as we were sat in our pyjamas sharing a bag of Chocolate Frogs one Friday night exactly three weeks before the Ball. "I mean he's not as outspoken as James and Sirius, so perhaps he's a bit scared to ask you. Maybe he's just, um, biding his time or something… Ooh, Oooh! _You_ should ask _him_!!" A wide grin spread across her face.

I frowned. "That would require a kind of conversational finesse that I seriously lack. The last time I tried to sound smooth when talking to Remus resulted in incoherent babble that almost had him running for the hills…"

"No it didn't! He thought it was cute!"

"Yeah, _cute_. That little fat owl that hit the milk jug and fell into Lily's cereal this morning was _cute_. _Cuteness_ won't get me a date! A date for the Ball is essentially a _dance_ partner. Remus will want someone beautiful and graceful who won't stand on his feet...I don't fit into any of those categories!"

Becky looked at me despairingly. "Wait and see. You'll be going to the Ball with Remus, I'm willing to make a bet!"

"Hmm… well I hope you're right!" I said, brightening. "What about you anyway? Any interesting proposals yet?"

"Yes, actually. James asked me."

My mouth fell open and I swore loudly "What? Really? You should have told me sooner! What did you say?", I asked eagerly.

"I said…" She paused for dramatic effect "…no! I was on the verge of just saying yes but then it hit me; I have absolutely no intention of being his second choice back-up girl and watching him moon over Lily all night. I'm going to wait for someone who might moon over _me_ all night". Becky crossed her arms with a defiant expression.

"Good for you! That was so cool! Bet James is nursing a bruised ego though… two rejections…"

"Hmm, he did look pretty gob smacked when I turned him down. I reckon he thought there was no chance I'd refuse him."

"Serves him right, the cocky git."

After this, our conversation faded into yawns and then sleep.

* * *

The next day Becky, Violet and I headed into Hogsmeade in search of accessories for the Ball. We set out after breakfast snuggled up in scarves and earmuffs to fight the bitter chill. 

After almost three hours of perusing the items in the two jewellers' shops of the village, Becky had bought the necklace she'd had her eye on for weeks and Violet had found a bracelet of sapphires that would match her gown exactly. I had found nothing so far and, not really in the mood to retrace my steps, I decided that I could make do without anything new.

As we headed towards the Three Broomsticks, a snowball hit me squarely on the back of the head. Turning round, glaringly furiously, I was greeted by the grinning face of Sirius Black.

"Well hello there", he said.

I raised an eyebrow.

"I have some information that might well just make your day Zara."

I looked at him sceptically.

"Oh _really_? 'Making my day' sounds remarkably like a good deed…" I adopted a thoughtful expression. "But that can't be right. I mean this is _you_ we're talking about here… so therefore may I presume that this 'information' comes at a price?"

He widened his eyes and adopted a mock-hurt voice. "I shall brush aside that insult to the good name of Sirius Black; the very embodiment of virtue, honour and generosity… yeah whatever, who am I kidding…" He grinned. "But seriously, I will divulge this information for no higher price than one Butterbeer in the company of you lovely ladies".

I glanced around at Becky and Violet who were stood just behind me. They both looked unimpressed by this flattery.

I smiled at Sirius. "And how do I know that what you can tell me is _worth_ the price of a Butterbeer and your company?"

"Oh – trust me here; to _you_ it's worth the price of a lifetime's supply of Butterbeer, if not more…"

I was, admittedly intrigued. "Carry on…"

"It concerns my dear friend… Remus Lupin?"


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Thanks for the positive feedback guys; I was so happy when I saw people were actually adding my story to their alerts list that I decided to go right on and add the next chapter sooner than I planned :) _

_Pure fluff_ _this one - Sirius' meddling works a treat :)_

* * *

My eyes widened and I suddenly felt a little unsteady. 

"Ah-ha! So you _are_ interested! Good, good. We should probably talk in private though so…" He gestured at my friends.

I turned to them with an apologetic look, but they smiled and said they'd be in the Three Broomsticks, waiting.

Sirius walked over to the wall at the side of the street and sat himself down. I sat next to him, immensely curious and a little nervous about what he might have to say regarding Remus. (For all I knew it could have been "Stop staring at him you daft cow, you're making him uncomfortable").

"Ok. Here goes…" Sirius began. "Remus hasn't stopped talking about you since the chair-vanishing day."

I could have used a moment to let that sink in, but Sirius pressed on…

"He desperately wants you to be his date for the Ball but can't work up the courage to ask you because he thinks you'll turn him down – not good at handling rejection is our Moony… anyway, as much as James, Peter and I have tried to persuade him that you've wanted to get your paws on him for weeks…" (I didn't even bother to object to this), "…he refuses to believe us. He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this, but I had to do _something_, its getting tragic…. So I thought if perhaps I could tell him that you're definitely up for it he might actually ask you. So…what do you think? If he asked you to the Ball would you say yes? I _know_ you don't already have a date".

Sirius looked at me intently.

I struggled to find words. Remus wanted me to be his date! This was not happening. This was amazing! This was so… so… _remarkably like the kind of prank Sirius would find hilarious?_

I stood up…"Sirius Black if you are winding me up here, if this is a prank I swear I'll hex you into-"

"No, no I swear it's not a trick!" He paused then held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I wouldn't mess with you like that Zara, I'm not _that_ cruel. Anyway, I know how much you like Remus and how much he likes you and to be honest I'm sick of witnessing the puppy-dog glances you give each other when you think the other isn't looking, and I'm _sick_ of hearing about you – no offence intended – so will you _please_ give me an answer so I can tell Remus that he better get on with asking you out or I'll … argh! I'll go bloody INSANE!!" With that he stood up.

I was stunned. Then my brain kicked in.

"Yes of course, yes, yes, tell him I'd say yes!! Thankyou Sirius, thankyou so much. This is… eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! "

Having given up on words and embraced the hysterical-screaming approach, I launched myself at Sirius and hugged him so fiercely that he toppled back into the wall.

"Ok, um, ok, there there dear." He patted my back, tentatively – Sirius Black, I was sure, was the _master_ of handling a wide range of affectionate gestures from screaming girls – apparently _hugs_ weren't one of them. "I'll tell him. If my lungs aren't crushed…"

"Ooh, oops, sorry I, um, got a little carried away." I laughed nervously. "Um, you got time for that Butterbeer?"

He straightened out his hug-crumpled coat and nodded. We walked to the Three Broomsticks, Sirius promising me he'd tell Remus as soon as we returned to the school and would have him asking me out by dinnertime tonight.

That afternoon was a wonderful mix of laughter, butterbeer, comfy seats by the fire in the Three Broomsticks, and an excitable walk back to the castle where Sirius finally left us to go and carry out his promise and Becky turned to me at last and said "I told you so, didn't I? Didn't I say just yesterday that Remus wanted to ask you?" She grinned.

Two hours later I was sat in the common room alone. Dinner wasn't for another half hour and most people were either still at the Quidditch practise or in the library starting work on the Potions essay that was due in the next Tuesday; the latter group included my group of friends. On any other day I would have joined them but instead I stayed behind, thinking that if Remus were, for any reason, to be looking for me then the common room was the easiest place for him to find me. Stuff Potions.

There had, at this point, been no sign of Remus or his friends all evening; the butterflies in my stomach were doing somersaults. I didn't even realise how tired I was until I leant back and rested my head on a big red cushion…

* * *

I felt someone touch my hair. My eyes were still closed but I suddenly became aware of the fact I had woken from sleep. 

When had I nodded off? Who was now with me? I opened one eye, then the other, to see Remus kneeling next to my chair looking at me with a small smile on his face. He had been gently stroking my hair, but stopped and moved his hand away when I woke. I missed his touch instantly.

"Hello…" I said. "Um how long have I been asleep? ... I was hoping you'd appear soon and then I must have, um, nodded off." I smiled sheepishly.

"Well I got here ten minutes ago, Sirius and Peter reckoned I should have conjured a bucket of water to throw over you but… you looked so peaceful that I couldn't possibly."

"Are they still-"

"No, I sent them off to dinner." He smiled. He seemed very assured around me and not at all hesitant. _Sirius must have told him._

I sat up and stretched. Remus came to sit next to me.

I suddenly felt very warm.

After a moment of silence, he spoke. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you. Something tells me you know exactly what it is… " He smiled, "… but I'll ask you anyway".

The butterflies in my tummy were having a rave.

"Would you like to go to the Ball with me? And, well, maybe on a date too?" A flicker of nervousness crossed his beautiful face as he added the second request.

I sat in silence for a moment. Hearing this second-hand from Sirius had not prepared me for hearing the words come from Remus' mouth.

I remembered to speak.

"Yes, yes of course! I'd love to; I mean I'd _really_ love to!"

Remus' smile rapidly turned into a grin.

"Really? You really mean that? Sirius told me he'd spoken to you and you'd said you were interested but… but, I wasn't sure if maybe he was just trying to trick me into making a fool of myself…"

I assured him, as if he needed any further confirmation of my feelings. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for weeks now, this… this is perfect". My voice quietened and I looked up at him.

Seeing the expression on his face I suddenly leant forward and kissed him, very softly on his lips – then pulled away quickly.

He looked momentarily stunned. I was too. Before I knew what was happening, he leant towards me and our lips brushed softly once more, but this time he held my cheek in his hand and lingered a little longer.

We pulled away and I felt light-headed. I had kissed only three guys before Remus; one a Ravenclaw that I dated for a month last year; another (whilst incredibly drunk) just a few months earlier after the school Christmas party, at our Gryffindor "Christmas-Party-After-Party"; and the last, the 17 year old son of my neighbours back home, who got a bit too enthusiastic with our obligatory midnight kiss at my parents' New Year celebration.

Needless to say, they all paled in comparison to Remus; just the slightest touch of his lips to mine sent shivers down my spine and gave me a giddy thrill. There was something special about this one; I could feel it instantly.

Shortly, Remus stood and took my hand, pulling me out of my seat and brushing down the patch of my hair that was stood up on end from when I had had my head snuggled into the cushion.

I chided him for letting me talk to him for so long unaware that my hair had resembled that of the crazy old cat lady who lives in Hogsmeade.

"It made you less intimidating to ask out", he teased, and I shoved him playfully.

He took my hand in his once more, and together, we walked down to the Hall for dinner where, when we reached the Gryffindor table hand-in-hand, we were greeted by our friends who spent at least five minutes grinning wickedly or looking like they were trying desperately to suppress shrieks or giggles.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer**: Don't know if I actually have to do another of these in the same story but, just in case, here goes: I am still not JK Rowling, nor do her fantastic creations belong to me. I'm just taking them for a little ride and introducing them to a few of my own (less fantastic) ones._

_**A/N:** Chapter 5, and it's the night of the Valentines Ball... _

_Thanks for all your support guys :) As this is a very short chapter and as I'm away from tomorrow till Monday, I'll post Chapter 6 tonight as well._

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

I was on top of the world. 

Remus and I had been dating for three weeks; three weeks of strolls through the snowy grounds, stolen glances in lessons and long conversations about anything and everything, through which I felt I was coming to know Remus as I had never known anyone else before.

We spent perfect evenings in the common room cuddled together; sometimes alone, sometimes with our friends. One Sunday Becky, Lily, Serena, Violet, Sirius, James, Peter, Remus and I had an epic Girls v. Boys snowball fight in the grounds. Despite protests that we were too old for playing in the snow, Sirius had managed to talk us all into it and, by dinner time, we had to admit it had been a hell of a lot of fun.

Before I knew it, Valentine's Day, and the Ball arrived.

Lily had set Becky up with a friend of her Ravenclaw date, a 6th year Hufflepuff called Ciaran who was tall dark and handsome, with a friendly face and a dazzling smile; Becky had certainly had no objection. They had left a little earlier to meet up with their dates, leaving me to descend the spiral staircase in my crimson gown and black heels which were already feeling uncomfortable.

As I emerged into the common room, I saw Remus and Sirius stood near the window, laughing about something or other… I took a moment to observe how incredibly gorgeous Remus looked in his dress robes, before clearing my throat to get his attention.

They looked up and the laughter faded from their faces to be replaced by brief looks of disbelief, and then smiles.

"Well, well, well, don't you scrub up nicely", observed Sirius, "… if I'd have known _that_ girl was lurking beneath the usual Zara I might have snapped you up for myself…"

He flashed me a jokingly flirtatious grin, and then grimaced slightly as Remus smacked him round the head.

Laughing, I began to walk in Remus' direction; he met me halfway and put his arms around my waist, dipping his head to kiss me softly and whisper in my ear "You're beautiful…"

This sent shivers down my spine and, despite my attempts at elegance, I couldn't suppress the blush and giddy smile that spread across my face.

"If that's true then there's the slightest chance I might be worthy of your devastatingly handsome company tonight" I smiled up at him.

We looked into each others eyes for a few seconds, then Remus' eyes flickered upwards and in mid-air a rose appeared, deep red and fully in bloom. The rose hovered for a moment and then fell into my right hand.

"Bloody hell Moony you sneaky bastard! Where'd you learn that?!" asked Sirius, looking incredulous.

Remus said nothing, just flashed a quick crooked smile at Sirius and looked back towards me.

Still recovering from being called beautiful, _this _rendered me speechless. I just stared at the rose in my hand... anything I attempted to conjure disintegrated a few moments after it appeared, that was, if I even managed to succeed in conjuring it at all. This was a perfectly-formed rose, completely real, my hand clasped tightly around its stem... _Had Remus learnt that just for me?_

"I think you killed her..." said Sirius, unable as he was to handle a quiet moment. Remus and I looked at him, "She can't say anything. You see Remus, _normally_ she'd be launching some crazy ramble about wandless magic and how you're (he put on a girly voice and clapped his hands together), _"so _sweet_" _and how red roses are her favourite, _then_ there should be a totally unneccessary story about how when she was little she had wallpaper with pink roses on ... and right about _now_ she should be squeaking about how it matches her dress..._" _

We burst out laughing. Sirius was right; for once in my life I couldn't even find it in myself to mumble awkwardly about something: I was actually speechless.

After a moment I looked back at Remus who was smiling down at me. I decided this moment didn't need words.

His hair, although tied back more neatly than usual for the Ball, still fell across his face where it was shorter; I tucked a strand back behind his ear and in doing so pulled him closer towards me. A soft brush of lips wasn't enough this time and I deepened the kiss quickly, pouring all my emotion into it; and Remus responded with equal enthusiasm…

"Ahem", Sirius cleared his throat and we broke apart; I'd forgotten he was there. "As much as I _love_ public displays of affection," he began sarcastically, "and as dashingly romantic Remus' little display was," he looked pointedly at his friend, "it's five to eight; I have a girl to meet and the Ball begins in five minutes soooo… Are you coming with me? Or shall I leave you here to um, amuse yourselves?"

Cue trademark Sirius-Smirk.

"Ok, ok, we're coming", I said, pulling away from Remus but still tightly gripping his hand.

"Excellent!" declared Sirius and the three of us trooped out the common room.

I smiled to myself. A heart-stopping moment before we'd even reached the Ball? _This was going to be a hell of a night..._

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N:** ...And here's chapter 6 as promised. No more updates until next week now... and then I'll have to get on with writing more because I'll soon be running out of chapters that are ready!_

* * *

Four hours later, the Ball was dying down. It had been a truly spectacular evening; good friends, lots of dancing, lots of drinks and delicious food.

I was now barefoot, (the stilettos abandoned under the table) and sat in Remus' lap with my arm around his shoulders. I was stroking his neck with two fingers, letting them roam down to his chest where it was exposed by the unbuttoned top of his shirt. I had that night, more so than ever before, felt an instinctive need to be as close to Remus as possible; to feel his arms around me or his breath on my face as we talked in whispers whilst dancing.

He seemed to feel the same way; he had scooped me onto his lap as soon as we'd finished eating, and even carried me around when my shoes started to hurt my feet.

Sitting there at the table on Remus' lap, surrounded by my friends, I felt truly, blissfully happy.

Next to us, Sirius was talking quietly to his date Aurelia, (a Beauxbatons exchange student) who was clearly enjoying his company, yet was not wearing the silly puppy-dog expression that most of Sirius' girlfriends have in his presence. I wondered if maybe he had found his match…

On our right, Becky was excitedly telling Lily how Ciaran was hoping to become a professional Quidditch player when he leaves Hogwarts; next to them, their dates were also talking (and, I noticed, casting frequent glances at the two girls).

James and his date, a dainty 5th year Hufflepuff girl that I didn't know, were one of the last couples still dancing.

"Hmm I could really do with one last piece of pumpkin pie", commented Becky, looking towards the buffet table, "Zara come with me, I don't want to look like a pig on my own!"

"Alright, I could do with another drink actually"

I stood up and bent down to Remus, kissing him on the cheek. As I turned away, I heard Lily's quiet "Awwww".

I tiptoed across the room after Becky, pausing to brush off some pink ribbon from the table decorations that had stuck to my bare foot. Peter smiled as he passed us on his way back to the table, plate laden with cake.

"So Zara, how's everything with Remus tonight?" asked Becky, slicing off a piece of pie. "You two look awfully close…" She raised an enquiring eyebrow.

"We are; I mean, I _think_ we are… we seem to have got past the "dating" stage, I think we're actually, you know, _together_."

I realised that what I'd just said made barely any sense but Becky seemed to understand as she nodded vigorously.

"Of course you are!! He's totally into you, it's obvious to everyone. Sirius told me yesterday that he's never seen Remus as happy as he has been since you two got together. I've noticed Remus with a few girlfriends over the years and not once has he looked at one of them the way he's been looking at you tonight."

I felt a grin spread across my face and leant towards Becky.

"When we were dancing to one of the slow songs, I can't remember which… he looked down at me with those _eyes_ and I thought I might melt. He makes me so, so happy… and I know its only been three weeks so I shouldn't be so hung up on him yet, but I cant help it; I think I might really be falling for him…"

I glanced across the room to where Remus was now chatting to Lily and her date. He seemed so relaxed; smiling, laughing... I admired the way he could talk effortlessly to almost anybody; he took an interest in everyone and always listened.

I looked up at Becky who had followed my gaze and was smiling in Remus' direction. I momentarily expected her to tease me for being so soft.

She just turned back to me, put a hand on my shoulder and said quietly in my ear; "He's falling just as fast", before picking up her plate and turning back towards the table, leaving me stunned for a second before I remembered to follow.

I sat down on Remus's knee again and his arms circled my waist immediately.

"You didn't get a drink", he said.

"What?"

"A drink; you said you wanted one", he looked slightly amused.

"Oh, did I? Oh I _did_!Yes, I forgot…silly me."

Becky laughed and Sirius leaned over Remus towards me. "Don't worry love; I got a bottle of firewhiskey here if you want a glug… was gonna keep it to myself but, hey! Friends in need and all that…"

"Erm, thanks Sirius, go on I'll have a sip." I decided it was for his own good that he was prevented from finishing off the bottle.

Before long the firewhiskey was being passed round the table and everyone was chatting and giggling away a tad more merrily that before.

* * *

About half an hour later, I heard chairs starting to move beside me. 

Becky and her date had stood up; "Right, we're heading off now. Ciaran's going to walk me back to the common room so I'll see you there in a bit?"

I nodded and said we probably wouldn't be long.

"I think I'll give Aurelia a tour of the grounds before we call it a night", piped up Sirius.

I would have disapproved of Sirius' well-practised, _very _thinly-veiled attempt at seduction but I reserved my judgement. Aurelia seemed like she knew what she was doing. They left, arm-in-arm and then it was just Lily, Adrian, Remus and I left.

Shortly, we four decided to leave and, after pausing to let Lily say goodnight to Adrian we arrived back in the common room and slumped down on the sofa next to Becky who had already changed into her pyjamas and was drinking a butterbeer.

She offered us a bottle too and Becky, Lily, Remus and I sat chatting for about another half hour.

"So, how was your evening with Ciaran?" I asked Becky, with a smile. "You certainly looked like you were enjoying yourself."

"A hell of a lot better than I expected!" exclaimed Becky, "I was worried he might be a bit stuck-up from what I've heard about him, what with being Captain of his Quidditch team and all… but he was really, really sweet. I like him. We're meeting up in our free period after Potions on Tuesday."

I was glad; it was about time Becky found someone that made her happy. She had been preoccupied with James for far too long.

"Did James or Sirius come back up here?" Remus asked Becky, "Or what about Peter? Haven't seen him in a while actually…" He frowned.

"Peter went up to your dorm a while ago, kinda stumbled up actually; I reckon he had a little too much of Sirius' firewhiskey … but as far as I know the other two are still out somewhere", replied Becky.

The last few people from elsewhere in the room left for bed and Lily yawned.

"Well, that was a fantastic night guys, I'm exhausted…", she yawned again.

"Yeah, me too" said Becky, standing up and looking at me. "Are you coming up too or….?" She left the question open, looking from me to Remus and back.

I didn't want to say goodnight to him just yet.

"I'll be up in a bit; not quite sleepy enough yet" I said, trying to sound casual.

"Hmm, I bet you aren't…" muttered Lily under her breath, flashing me a wicked smile. "Night guys"

* * *

_There's definitely been an increase in fluff over the past 2 chapters... which I think is a good thing, but I hope it's not getting too soppy! _

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N:** Firstly, thankyou to all of you who have reviewed and/or added this story to your alerts or favourites, I'm so glad you seem to be enjoying this :)_

_Quite a long chapter here to make up for the longish break in updates - heavy on the romantic side and with quite a big James cameo cos I decided there hadn't been enough of James in this story yet :)_

* * *

Then it was just me and Remus alone on the sofa. I leant my head back and turned to face him. 

"Thank you for a lovely night; it was perfect. You're wonderful…"

"I had a pretty amazing night myself". He picked up my hand from my lap and twined his fingers in mine.

I looked at him intently; "I mean it; I mean when my feet started to kill and you picked me up and carried me to the buffet table just because I wanted cake…" He laughed. "…that was so, so sweet."

I moved out of his embrace and turned to face him.

"As a matter of fact, I heard something interesting tonight…"

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow. "And what might that have been? If Sirius said something abou- "

I put a finger to his lips, making a mental note to tap Sirius for interesting stories in future.

"No, it wasn't anything along the line of embarrassing memories …" Remus looked relieved. "Becky told me that Sirius had said to her that he'd never seen you this happy before you met me…" I hesitated and looked down at my hands, adding in a small voice; "Is…is that true?"

He lifted up my chin and looked me in the eye.

"Yes… it is; these past few weeks have been so much fun, I feel really close to you now; and not just because you're leaning right against me…" I laughed a little "… you know what I'm trying to get at… You mean so much to me; I can't imagine what I ever did without you Zara."

I didn't know what to say to this, so I leant in and kissed him; soft at first, growing more intense; hoping I was showing him exactly how I felt. My whole body was on fire and I was overwhelmed by the feelings that had been growing inside me steadily for the past weeks, and that had suddenly exploded tonight.

Was I falling in love with him? The thought both elated and scared me. For a moment when we stopped kissing I was on the verge of blurting out that I loved him, but I decided against it; having had so little experience of love I could not be sure what I was feeling…Remus was eyeing me quizzically. "Are you alright? You look a little….-"

"I'm fine, fine, just…enjoying a good gaze" I said, giving him a small smile.

Maybe it was the smuggled firewhiskey that was giving me sudden boldness, but before I knew what I was doing, I had climbed onto Remus and was now sitting in his lap. He looked momentarily stunned, then his lips were on mine once more…

He wrapped his arms tightly around me, pulling me close. I dragged my hands down his back and then up through his hair; making the most of every second. It was, after all, quite rare that we were alone enough to do anything like this.

Remus took his lips from mine and moved them to my neck where he kissed softly the sensitive spot beneath my left ear, eliciting a gasp. I felt him smiling against my neck as he proceeded to lick and nibble right down to my shoulder.

He looked back up at me and smiled devilishly; an expression I returned as I started to unbutton his shirt, my hands unsteady. I pushed it back from his shoulders and then, after glancing at him for permission, took it off entirely.

I paused to look at him; he was thin, as I expected, but where I thought he might have been a little on the scrawny side, his chest and arms were toned and just bloody_ gorgeous_. I smiled and the slight nervousness that had briefly crossed Remus' face instantly disappeared. I ran my hands gently down his arms and back, my fingers dancing over the raised scar lines which criss-crossed his smooth, warm skin. I dotted his chest with kisses and licks.

Growing bolder also, Remus gently pushed down the straps of my dress and edged my dress down slightly; all the time keeping eye contact, checking that I was not uncomfortable with what he was doing, until the top half of my dress was round my stomach and my pink and black striped bra was fully on show.

This was the most exposed I had ever been in front of a boy, but oddly enough it felt exactly right, and not at all awkward.

Remus kissed me softly and then pulled back to look at me. His beautiful large eyes seemed to sink right into my soul; in the firelight the amber glowed and the green sparkled... I felt heat rising in me as his fingers drew circles on the exposed skin above the lace edge of my bra.

I kissed him and shuffled further towards him, my hands tangled in his hair, that was falling over his face and hanging loose to his shoulders.

Remus' left hand had found the hem of my dress and was now stroking my right leg, and I was wrapping my arms round his neck, until -

… the portrait hole banged open at that very moment.

Before I could even think or register fully what was happening, we jumped to our feet to see James stood across the room, bottle in hand, surveying us with a mixture of shock and amusement.

I realised what he was seeing; Remus, shirtless with heavily tousled hair, still holding my hand tightly from pulling me up off the sofa; and me, wide-eyed, make-up smudged, frantically pulling my dress up.

"Ah I see I crashed a private after-party!" James exclaimed once he was done gawping. "Well, well, well Moony my old pal…"

He headed in our direction, banging into the back of the sofa on the way. He was clearly quite drunk.

Remus and I exchanged grimaces and he began to put on his shirt. As he buttoned it up, I felt a tinge of disappointment at the loss of such a lovely sight…

James smacked Remus on the back a little too forcefully, nearly knocking him over, and then sank down into an armchair; clearly not caring that he had interrupted a very significant moment.

"You know, it's always the quiet ones", observed James putting on a rather pompous tone of voice, "and you, Zara, I thought you were a sensible young lady… gone got yourself ruth-_ruth_lessly seduced by Remus here, I mean good on you, good on you Moony but Zara," he pointed at me, "… on a SOFA?!" He added this last bit with such drama that I burst out laughing and so did Remus.

"What's so funny? This is not a laughing matter kiddies!"

This just made us laugh even more and James looked confused, his head turning between the two of us so quickly it was a wonder he didn't collapse in dizziness.

When the giddiness subsided Remus said; "As clichéd as this sounds; that wasn't _actually_ what you think it was…"

"Of course not, of course not," said James, attempting a jaunty wink but only managing a blink instead. "I never said a word about…"

"No, but I know what you're thinking and you're gonna tell every-"

"Look mate if you don't want me to tell everyone that you sha-"

"James!" I interrupted. "We weren't doing _that_, we were just, just…" _What had we been doing? How far would things have gone if James hadn't interrupted?_

Remus and I looked at each other for a moment, the unspoken question hanging in the air between us; not noticing that James had begun whining…

"Remus… Reeeemus…MOONY!!"

"YES, James… what's up now?" asked Remus, turning away from me and looking down at his friend who had now sank further into the armchair.

"I feel…I feel sick Moony…take me to bed pleeeeease"

I smirked at Remus; "Now there's an offer you can't refuse!"

Remus shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face…

"Ok, I'll be back down shortly; I'll stick him in his bed and get a bucket just in case…well, look at him…" James was indeed turning a bit green, "…and then I'll be right back down; don't move an inch."

I smiled and nodded as Remus pulled James out of the chair and slung his friend's limp arm around his neck. James slumped heavily against him.

"Um, on second thoughts, fancy giving me a hand?" Remus asked me; looking apologetic. "I don't think he's planning on making any effort at all to hold himself up."

I moved to James' left and put his arm over my shoulder. At this point James woke up from a brief doze. He looked back and forth between us.

"You guys… lovely guys… What a couple. I tell you if either of you ever need _anything _I'll do whatever you want…"

"Can we get that in writing?" asked Remus, and I laughed, but James continued unawares:

"…Great stuff, great stuff… you're a lucky girl Zara, you know. A lucky _lucky_ girl… and you, Remus, you are a lucky guy and don't forget that…damn you, don't!..."

"I have no intention of forgetting", said Remus quietly, smiling at me as we ascended the staircase.

"I miss Lily!!" James wailed suddenly. "She's _my_ Lily, why can't she like me as much as I like her I…I mean what's wrong with me? I don't _understand_!"

"There, there Prongs, she'll come to her senses I'm sure…" said Remus comfortingly (although not exactly sincerely) as he pushed open the door to their dorm with his shoulder.

I had never set foot in the boys' dorms before. It was messy; clothes lying everywhere, cases open, sweet wrappers littered about and a chessboard stuck in the middle of the floor just waiting to be tripped over. The little bewitched chess pieces looked up at us indignantly as we entered, apparently angry at having had their game abandoned. There were four beds facing out from the walls of the circular room. Peter was on a bed to the left of the door, sprawled on his front, still fully clothed and snoring loudly.

Remus directed us to the next bed along from Peter's and we dropped James onto it.

"Thanks… thanks guys… sleep now". Which he promptly did.

Having done our good deed for the night, Remus and I turned away towards the door.

As we pulled the door shut, we heard James mumble "Don't you two do anything I wouldn't do", apparently in his sleep.

"That doesn't rule a lot out…" said Remus.

* * *

_There we go... took me ages to write that one! Hope you enjoyed it, please R&R!_

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N**:_ _Hi guys, here's chapter 8 - and it's a very talky one... pretty much just one long conversation!_

_Let me know what you think! Comments always very, very much appreciated._

* * *

Back in the common room; I looked at the clock to see that it was two o'clock already.

"About before…" began Remus, looking concerned. "You do know that I wouldn't have pushed you into anything you weren't comfortable with, don't you?"

"Of course! I didn't feel pushed at all; I wanted…" I felt myself going a bit red. "I liked it; I liked you touching me and holding me like that… I wasn't uncomfortable at all; in fact _I _seem to recall being the pushy one, if anything…"

I moved toward him, taking his hand and pulling him down to sit on the sofa next to me. I decided to open my heart to him.

"I'm not sure how fast I want things to go with us… I mean I've never… well, what happened between us was the first time I've ever been anywhere close to intimate with _anyone_…I've never known these feelings before; the ones that you stir up inside me, and I think, if you don't mind, I mean, if I'm worth the wait… I'd like you to be my, my first…"

I looked up to see Remus smiling down at me and he squeezed my hand.

"You're worth the wait" he said. "You can have as much time as you need; I'll wait for you. I wouldn't dream of hurting you in any way… and I think it would be nice for us to know each other better and spend more time together before we take any major steps… I mean it _has_ only been three weeks. We don't need to rush; if you'll let me, I'm planning on sticking with this, with us, a long time".

He smiled shyly and I hugged him tightly, so relieved that he understood and felt the same.

"A long time", I repeated and kissed him briefly on his lips.

We sat in silence for a few moments until curiosity got the better of me…

"So, what about previous girlfriends…have you ever slept with any of them?"

He looked a little taken aback, and then nodded; "Just the one; a girl I saw back home during last summer. Her name was Jenny, she doesn't go here; her mother insists on home-schooling her… anyway we've known each other since we were about eight and last summer we got together after deciding maybe we could be more than friends. It was mainly down to summer restlessness …not really anything serious, but we spent a lot of time together and one night when her parents were out and I was over at hers, one thing led to another and… yeah. It probably wasn't the best idea but she's not exactly the type to take no for an answer. Anyway we broke it off the week before I came back to Hogwarts; decided we were better as friends and that it wasn't worth the effort of a long-distance relationship."

Remus turned to look at me and I nodded.

"It… it doesn't bother you does it?" he asked.

"No, no, not at all, I mean I expected you would have done. Just one thing…"

"Yes?"

"Would I be worth a long-distance relationship?" I looked up at him with wide eyes.

He laughed and hugged me to him, kissing the top of my head.

"Do you really need to ask? … Of course you would be… but you're not leaving are you? 'Cause I'd rather have you here"

"Nah of course not…just thought I'd check…" I smiled and settled against him. "So you never did it with any of your girlfriends here? 'Cause I think I've counted at least four if not _five_ of them over the past two years…"

Remus smiled. "Nope, I never did. If you noticed the number you probably also noticed that they hardly ever lasted more than a few weeks mostly, I'll admit, due to the fact I that I wanted to avoid the werewolf issue being raised… So, consequently, I never got very far with any of them… which, looking back on some of the girls I've dated, is probably a very good thing."

I laughed.

"… At least three of them were inflicted upon me by Sirius or James and the couple of nice ones were scared off by them – couldn't hack the Marauder-life I guess". He smiled. "You, on the other hand, are quite a hit with my friends".

"Really? _Really?_" I was flattered, "I didn't think they liked me all that much at all to be honest…"

"What are you talking about? They've loved getting to know you over the past few weeks… and you instantly went up in Sirius' estimation when you were the first of us to agree to his snowball fight idea…"

I grinned; I was thrilled to be accepted by Remus' mates. Despite frequent idiotic tendencies, they were a lot of fun to be around and good people to have as friends.

"I think," Remus continued slowly, "James' approval of you might have a _little_ bit to do with-"

"-the fact that he thinks I can persuade Lily to start liking him?"

"Yes, exactly, but don't worry about that; I think even deep down he knows it's hopeless too"

"Aww, poor James. I'll see what I can do. Lily's fantastic, but she can be pretty headstrong at times and she's really set on not liking him. Still, I wouldn't say it's an entirely lost cause yet… I'll have a chat with Becky and see if we can come up with a way to change her mind".

"Thank you… see, you're just the loveliest girl ever; you'll even fight as tough a battle as that for the annoying git you just had to carry upstairs to his sick-bucket".

I smiled and tried my best to look angelic; not succeeding and giggling instead.

"On the subject of how lovely you are, what puzzles me…", Remus began, "is why _you've_ not been constantly followed by a queue of boys gagging for your attention".

I snorted. "Boys don't generally take me seriously; they don't usually see me as girlfriend material… I'm either "just a mate" or I don't register on their radar at all. It hasn't upset me too much I suppose; there are very few guys around here worth bothering with… maybe my standards are too high" I pondered. "I mean I had one boyfriend last year, but that was about as exciting an experience as an essay on flobberworms".

Remus laughed, then said, "In all seriousness though; I think you're the most gorgeous, kind, interesting, funny, sweet girl in this school… I would have thought someone else would have noticed that before me."

"It took _you_ a while though didn't it?! I mean, it was only on the Vanishing chair day that you started to think of me in that way…"

"Yes, I suppose, but once I _did_ begin to think in that way; a lot of things made sense… like why I always hoped you'd need me to help you with Defence homework, why I trusted you so completely with, you know, the secret…" I nodded "…and why I went to bed so inexplicably happy on the days in which I'd been able to have a conversation with you. That day when you tripped over and Sirius snapped your bag, I saw the hurt on your face and the tears welling up and I suddenly realised that I never wanted to see you look that way again and …that I wished I could be the one to make you smile…"

That was quite possibly the nicest thing I had ever heard…"You _are_ the one who makes me smile… you were my hero that day, and I am _so_ thankful for Sirius' stupid prank because if it hadn't have happened, _this…_" I gestured between us, "might never have happened!"

We sat in silence for a moment, just enjoying each others company.

"You know, we should probably say goodnight" spoke up Remus.

"Hmm, yeah. I suppose I am a little tired… I hadn't noticed with all the excitement."

"Same here" he yawned… "Do you want to finish that Defence homework together tomorrow afternoon? No, hang on-" he glanced at the clock which said half two, "_this_ afternoon".

"Ooh the exciting lives we lead" I muttered sarcastically, "…of course I do. I like it when you tell me things and point out where I'm going wrong… and you look _really_ sexy when you read…you get this look on your face - makes you seem really sort of deep and…intellectual."

His mouth formed a crooked smile and he raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Mmhmm… you could make a fortune tutoring students in Defence. All the _girls_ would be hanging on your every word anyway…"

He laughed "Well in that case aren't you lucky that you're the only girl who gets the benefit of my err, "deep and intellectual" moments? If I tutored others you might have competition for me…" He trailed off, lifting his chin up and adopting a haughty expression.

I smacked his arm playfully and he grinned and kissed the end of my nose which made me giggle.

"Anyway… weren't we talking about going to sleep?"

I nodded and made to stand up "Yup we were… and we probably should…"

"Not so fast". Remus pulled me back down and onto his lap; "I refuse to let go of you until you say goodnight properly…"

I turned around, shifting so my legs were resting either side of his, then wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with the same intensity as earlier. His hands roamed up my back until his right hand settled on my neck and began to stroke the skin underneath my ear. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him as close to me as possible.

We must have continued for at least ten minutes before our kisses slowed to slow, gentle brushes of our lips.

"Mmm… was that what you had in mind?" I asked.

"That far surpassed what I had in mind. We should make it a nightly thing."

"Sounds like a good plan to me", I smiled.

Suddenly Remus stood up, still holding me, and dropped me down onto the floor so I was stood looking up at him.

"Good night Zara"

"Night Remus…"

Unable to resist, I placed a tiny kiss on his nose before turning away in the direction of my dorm.

* * *

Thud! _Oh crap_… with the lack of light in the dorm I'd tripped over something pointy and collided with the heavy wooden post of my bed. 

"Zara is that you?"

A wand-tip lit up and illuminated Becky's face. She was sat up in bed looking bleary-eyed.

"Yes… bed collision, I'm sorry I woke you….bloody sodding shoes…they tripped me up". I was rubbing my forehead where I had bumped it.

"Oh um, sorry I think they're mine, forgot to put them away." Becky looked apologetic, then changed the subject. "So… it's been at least a couple of hours since I came up here I'm sure… what you been getting up to down there?"

She flashed a mischievous grin and suddenly looked wide awake.

I regaled her with the entire story of what had happened since she has left the common room, deciding not to omit any details in the telling because she'd get them out of me eventually anyway.

By the time I settled down to sleep it was nearing 4 o'clock in the morning.

* * *


	9. Author's Note

Hey guys, sorry I've been away from this story for so long - I started back at university in September and kind of lost the inspiration for it.

However, thanks to some of you recently adding it as a favourite my enthusiasm for it has been sparked again so I shall hopefully be continuing it soon!

Thankyou to those who have reviewed etc, sorry for leaving the story at such a inconclusive point and I hope you will enjoy what I have in store for Zara and the Marauders next!


	10. Chapter 9

_Hello! So, 7 months after saying I will carry on this story, here I am again! Inspiration hit me again yesterday, and I've now got three more chapters in the pipeline..._

_Hope I've managed to keep in the spirit of the earlier chapters, and that you'll still enjoy reading it!_

_Sorry again for the ridiculously long wait, and please review to let me know how it's going! Thanks!_

* * *

I stayed true to my word that I would try and set James up with Lily. This impossible task was actually quite enjoyable - especially when I got Becky involved and we could attempt to formulate a plan.

One night two weeks after the ball whilst sat in our dorm, Becky and I attempted to work out Stage One of Operation Evans-for-Potter (We had spent the previous night attempting to think of a cool name for the operation, but failed miserably and played Exploding Snap instead).

Lily was still in the library tutoring a few fourth years in Potions - she was a brilliant teacher, quite forceful but with enough kindness to make it work as well as the patience of a saint. This patience, it must be noted, only applied to people who were not James Potter.

So, we began Operation E4P. After much discussion of every means of impressing that James had already tried - this included fireworks bewitched to spell out "LILY BE MINE", flowers that floated into the air and circled her head as she ate one dinnertime (this resulted in her grabbing a bunch and shoving them in a jug of Pumpkin juice) and a hired dwarf dressed like a cherub serenading her in the library…

"… That poor dwarf never saw "Wandsworth's Complete Catalogue of 20th Century Developments in Potion-making" coming…" mused Becky.

"I know, poor thing. James had to carry him away - he was practically unconscious!"

"Anyway, this isn't getting us much further - we need to get thinking!" announced Becky, pulling a Chocolate Frog forcefully out of the bag and stuffing it in her mouth, with a determined expression on her face.

I responded by doing the same and pulling out a notebook ready to jot down our ideas.

As we sat staring intently at the page, there was a quiet knock at the door. Becky and I looked at each other - Lily or our other room-mates didn't usually knock…

"Hello?" I called. There was no reply, just some scuffling from outside the door.

Sighing, I shuffled over to the door in my pygmy-puff slippers and broomstick-patterned pyjamas (My granny had bought them for me the previous Christmas. Not the trendiest of pyjama sets, but fantastic defence against the chill that swept Gryffindor tower in February).

Opening the door with a creak, I was shocked to find the top step outside the door empty.

"Hello?" I muttered, looking around.

"Ugh, probably some stupid first-year prank…" muttered Becky as I turned to her. "Honestly, were we that immature when we were-"

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!"

Someone (or something) had dug their fingers in my waist, making me jump half a mile into the air and scream…

I turned round (almost too afraid to look), to see Sirius and Remus pulling James' cloak off their shoulders, faces lit up, laughing merrily.

"You!!" I shouted. "You scared the HELL out of me!!" I turned around to Becky for back-up, to find she was stifling a laugh. She promptly pretended to be very interested in the nutritional value of Chocolate Frogs, and stared intently at the back of the packet.

Turning around to the intruders, who were looking a little too pleased with themselves, I glared daggers at them both until Remus wrapped his arms around me in a hug and looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. Then I smiled and hugged him back.

"Aww don't I get a hug?" whined Sirius, pouting.

"NO."

"Well, Becky will give me a hug. Won't you Becky?"

"Will I?" said Becky, looking up from the sweet packet, long enough to see a fleeting glimpse of swishing black hair as Sirius launched himself at her and grabbed her in an enormous bear-hug.

There was a muffled noise from Becky that sounded something like : "Wha-whathehulaveubee-dnknggsiyus"

Eventually Sirius broke away and bounced back, grabbing a fluffy pillow and leaning back on it. He stretched his legs out on the bed and grinned at us all.

"What I was trying to say", began Becky, looking a little stunned still, "was- what the hell have you been drinking Sirius?"

"Oh, his aunty Andromeda sent him a bottle of firewhiskey", said Remus with a knowing smile, taking my hand and leading me across to my bed where he conjured some extra cushions ad we squished on, sitting across from Becky and Sirius (whose outstretched legs Remus pushed off the edge of the bed).

"Always did like Aunty 'Drom", commented Sirius, folding his arms "Always had a cracking line in presents…"

I smiled. I had to admit, it was nice to hear Sirius being able to speak favourably about one of his relatives - the rest of them sounded absolutely awful. In fact, despite never having met any of them, I _knew_ they were awful - Black family members were frequently featured in the Daily Prophet giving their ridiculous views on bloodline purity, Hogwarts' supposed need to be more selective in their admissions process, and anti-werewolf legislation (this one, as you might imagine, had sent Sirius on a furious rant one breakfast-time when he saw the headline - Remus had to discreetly shush him, worrying he would blurt out something he shouldn't).

"So, what have we done to deserve this honour?" I ask, only slightly sarcastically.

"Hmm, yes it isn't often you lot deign to set foot in our humble abode…" continued Becky, adopting a fake submissive tone of voice.

"Oh come off it, as if Moony here isn't sneaking up here every night to see you Zara…" said Sirius, winking at me and elbowing Remus in the side, earning himself a glare from his fellow-Marauder.

"No? No illicit moonlit canoodles? No ascending the winding stairs under cover of darkness to slip into the fair lady's chamber?"

More stares.

"You know what Remus, I think I may be a little drunk" said Sirius.

"You think?" we all responded, almost simultaneously.

"Okay, well now for the real reason we are here", began Sirius purposefully: "Me and my old mate Remus here were on our way back from watching James' Quidditch practise when we thought "Hey, we're feeling a tad charitable, let us now go forth and treat a few lesser beings of the female variety to the rare company of two such handsome devils as ourselves". And… you two were the lucky lesser beings upon whom we decided to bestow such lucky fortune".

He pulled out a chocolate frog and shoved it messily into his mouth.

I nodded seriously, "Ohhh, I see. Well thank you Sirius, we're most obliged. But you know, if we had wanted to see a hyperactive little brat smear chocolate over his face, we would have volunteered for a shift at Hogsmeade nursery…"

Remus and Becky burst out laughing.

Sirius looked at me and chewed some more…

"Touché" he said, and switched on his 100-watt grin.

"Anyway", said Remus, pulling me closer, "to answer your question seriously, we were just wondering where you two had gone to. It dawned on us that you could be up here plotting some kind of Lily-James project development, and thought you might need the help of a couple of renowned masters of cunning". He grinned, and I kissed his nose.

"And", he continued a little quieter, "I missed you".

At this, I felt a little squirm in my tummy and I leant in to kiss him properly.

"Now, now kiddies, none of that" said Sirius, in his best vocal impersonation of Professor McGonagall.

We broke apart and smiled.

"Anyway, any developments on the Lily front?" enquired Remus.

"Nope, not really", answered Becky sadly, yawning and leaning over to fluff up her pillow. "We've tried writing to Witch Weekly's Worry Witch page, but no reply yet".

"Good thinking", said Remus, "Anything else?"

"Not at all. It really is even harder that I thought. It doesn't help that James has already tried almost all the tricks in the book. Leaves us with a serious lack of options. It's an impossible task"

"There are no impossible tasks!" declared Sirius. "With our combined brain power, there is nothing we cannot do!"

"Something tells me that that's the firewhiskey talking…" said Remus, "… I can't help but think that if something will ever happen between James and Lily, then it should come from them and not from our meddling?"

"Remus has a point", said Becky. "I think perhaps we'll just cause more harm than good, especially if _he_ gets too involved…". She inclined her head towards Sirius, who was now concentrating on racing two chocolate frogs along the bed.

"Hmm, yes. Well, I say we wait and see what happens, but we should meet up at regular intervals to discuss developments", I chimed in, "you know? Then it will be two representatives from Lily's side and two from James' - we can compare notes on what they've said, or what James is planning next. That way we may be able to assess progress".

"Bloody hell Zara!" exclaimed Becky, "You make it sound like a scientific experiment!"

"It is one!" shouted Sirius earnestly, and we all burst out laughing.

"Okay, we'll do it. Whenever there's a chance, we'll pop over here or you two can come over to ours, and we'll discuss developments", decided Remus and we all muttered agreements.

The rest of the evening passed in happy chatter; the four of us complaining about the amount of DADA homework we had received, laughing at Sirius' classic McGonagall impression (he even transfigured a pen into a pair of glasses for himself to add to the effect), and listening to The Witching Hour on the WWN.

At midnight, Becky began to yawn and said she would probably turn in, as she was meeting Ciaran for a date in Hogsmeade early the next morning.

At this Sirius made a loud "Woooooooooooooooo" noise, and we all declared that it was probably his bed time too.

"Yeah, I'll go to bed. Oooh I left my firewhiskey on my bed. Yes, I'll definitely go to bed. James might be back by now, I'll go see if he wants a swig. Caring, sharing and all that…You coming Moony?"

"Um, you go on ahead, I'll stay here a bit longer actually", Remus replied, smiling down at me.

I returned the smile and leant further into his shoulder.

"Will you now?" asked Sirius, smirking, "Well, I'm not one to judge, it's about bleedin' time… have fun kiddies!"

With that, he twirled on the spot, saluted us all, and promptly exited the dorm.

One moment later Lily entered, looking flustered and rushing straight to her bed, muttering.

"Ugh those DAMN fourth years, one of them hid my copy of Wandsworth in the damn library… bloody pesky little sods…Oh! Hello Remus!"

Remus smiled and waved from where we were sat on my bed.

"I, err, didn't expect you to be here…" She gave me a pointed look; I shrugged innocently.

"I'll be off soon, I was just helping Zara finish off that Defence essay… lost track of time", Remus answered, smiling brightly.

Lily seemed to evaluate the situation for a short while before turning to Becky, who was just pulling back her duvet.

"Becky, you won't come down to the library with me and help me find my book, will you?" She gave her best pleading face. "I simply can't risk Madam Pince shelving it… I'll NEVER find it again…"

"Do I have to?" Becky implored, "I've got to be…"

"PLEEASE Becky", begged Lily, grabbing her friend's shoulders.

"Alright, alright."

"Thank you! You're a life saver!"

Becky grabbed her Puddlemere United scarf, wrapped it around her neck and headed towards the door, Lily following.

Lily turned and grinned at me fleetingly before closing the door behind her, leaving Remus and I alone.

We looked at each other and sighed. It was the first time we had been properly alone together in about a week.

I smiled up at him and shuffled down the bed a bit, clinging onto him and nuzzling into his jumper.

I didn't want him to leave.

"Can you stay here tonight?"

He looked a little startled…

"Not… not like _that_, I just mean can you stay and just talk, and cuddle me. 'Cause we haven't had much time together recently- well we have, but not _alone_ together and it would just be-"

"Yes", I looked up into his eyes "Yes, of course I will… just let me go and change".

I grinned at him, and he jumped up and went to the door.

"I'll be back before you know it". The door banged shut and I listened to his hurried footsteps descending the stairs.

I rolled onto my back and grinned at the ceiling.

True to his word, before I knew it, Remus was back - wearing a pair of dark green pyjama bottoms and his Gryffindor t-shirt.

He came back to lie down, telling me how he had endured much taunting from a tipsy James Potter, and even been given a pep-talk by an absolutely off-his-face Sirius Black when he had told them not to wait up because he was coming back to mine.

I laughed, and grabbed a hold of the front of his t-shirt, pulling him closer. I closed the curtains round the bed with a flick of my wand, and rested my head on the pillow, nose-to-nose with Remus.

He closed the tiny gap between us with a searing kiss, which I responded to enthusiastically.

I felt the familiar tingling sensation when his hand roamed up my pyjama top and began tracing patterns on my back. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling it out of it's hair-band.

Remus suddenly pulled back; I looked up at him, puzzled.

"These pyjamas have broomsticks on them."

"Um, yes. Yes they do", I mumbled, looking down at them, "Erm… is that a problem?"

"No, not at all. It's just that I've always thought there was absolutely nothing in this world that could make you cuter than you already are…until I saw these." He smiled at me, with a hint of laughter in his gorgeous eyes.

"Really? You mean that?" I asked, smiling.

"Absolutely". He grinned and poked one of the little broomsticks which was right on my belly button and made me giggle until he kissed me again and I sank blissfully into the feeling.

We lay there for at least an hour before falling asleep, kissing and whispering to each other. It was perfect.

_There we go then, chapter 9! Really hope it wasn't awful...Please R&R!_


	11. Chapter 10

_A/N: Ok, here's chapter 10... it may be a little while longer again before chapter 11 goes up as I did something rather silly - I wrote about 4 more chapters and then realised I had made some twists in the plot that would have totally changed the set-up of the story as I set it out in chapter 1 (before Zara's very long, continuing reminiscences...) So, although most of it is still okay, I need a little more time to reshuffle it and well, you know, make it make sense... oops :S_

_But for now, I hope you enjoy chapter 11, wherein everyones favourite Slytherin makes his first cameo..._

* * *

So the rest of February passed in a blissful blur of time spent with Remus and our friends, walks down to Hogsmeade wrapped up in cosy scarves and gloves (Remus bewitched mine to stay toasty-warm for the whole day), and the occasional Potter-Evans Crisis Summit.

Our letter to 'Worry Witch' explaining the situation (omitting names of course), had been published with a reply, and we began regular correspondence in which the Worry Witch tried her best to make insightful suggestions as to what we could do to help our friends "find their way to a truly magical romance" (her words, not ours).

This correspondence stopped however when Sirius decided one dull Saturday afternoon that it would be hilarious to use my owl (and my NAME!) to send Worry Witch some queries of a less than pleasant and deeply embarrassing nature.

Needless to say, that was the end of Worry Witch's help. It was no real loss, as none of her suggestions had proved successful but, as revenge was necessary, I snuck up to the boys' dorm and (with Remus' help) bewitched the curtains of Sirius' bed so that they would tangle him up the moment he crawled into bed.

The shrieks that night were hilarious to hear. The look on his face at breakfast the next day was priceless.

Apparently he had got so irrevocably stuck that he had ended up sleeping upside down, suspended from the roof of his four-poster with one curtain tangled round his ankle.

Remus, James and Peter had been unable to help due to severe incapacitation… they had been bent double laughing, watching Sirius flailing around in a futile attempt to escape.

Anyway, besides this little episode, the weeks passed fairly uneventfully, with no romance blossoming between Lily and James. Surprise, surprise.

One sunny day in early May, Becky, Lily and I were walking back to the dorm after a particularly gruelling day of classes - Defence, Care of Magical Creature, Charms and DOUBLE Potions to top it off. We stopped in the courtyard and settled on a wall, intent on soaking up the last rays of the day's sunshine.

"Bloody Slughorn, setting us five chapters to read! He knows we've got that Charms project to work on…" moaned Lily, who usually quite liked a challenge. Today, apparently, had changed that.

"He's trying to kill us" Becky declared, "It's the only explanation."

There was a voice from behind us.

"Some people obviously just aren't up to the task", it sneered.

We looked around to see Severus Snape walking up behind us. Lily glared at him. They had been good friends until last year - the rest of us couldn't really understand it, there was always something quite sinister about the guy. But Lily had seen a good quality in him and, back then, he had been capable of being quite nice at times. Despite looking a little awkward about it, he would say "Hi" to me if we passed in corridors, and when we were paired up in Potions one time in third year he was actually really helpful. I had expected him to merely complain about being put with a totally inept Potion mixer who would undoubtedly bring his marks down. However, back then, he was always able to surprise us with how pleasant he could be on occasion.

But that all changed last year. According to Lily, he had got in with a bad crowd in Slytherin - all of whom were of the Black family type in terms of their views on wizarding society. To cut a long story short: he denied he was into anything dodgy and refused to listen to Lily's warnings. This put their friendship on the rocks and, after a disastrous encounter with James Potter, during which Severus rudely rejected Lily's attempt to help him, their friendship was effectively over.

Why he was now choosing to stop and make criticisms - entirely out of the blue - was beyond us.

"What do you want Severus?" asked Lily in a dark tone of voice.

"Oh nothing, just overheard the inane complaining of you and your little Mudblood friends and-"

"Oh shut the hell up Snape!", I interrupted, "No-one really believes that "mudblood" crap! It's just you and your pathetic bunch of Slytherins…"

"Yeah", added Becky, turning back towards us and saying conversationally, "You know, I always said that spending so much time in that slimy dungeon of a common room wouldn't do any of them any good… start getting funny ideas…"

"What would you know?" spat Snape. "We're the ones who are getting it right. We'll show you. Our ideas won't be so funny when you find out what's in store for you lot of muggle-lovers and your filthy blood traitor families…"

"This has gone too far… what happened to you Severus?" asked Lily in a small, but determined, voice.

I could have sworn I saw Snape's expression of disgust melt a away a little when he looked Lily in the eye, but no sooner had I thought it, he was back to sneering.

"I learnt how to mix with the right people". He looked up, above our heads, and a smirk spread across his face.

The three of us turned around to see who Severus was looking at.

Remus was approaching us across the courtyard. He was alone, his schoolbag slung across his shoulder, right hand tucked in his pocket. His tie was loosened a little and he appeared casual - with the exception of the expression on his face. I wondered briefly if he had heard Snape calling us Mudbloods. I stood up and grabbed his hand as he reached us, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Look who's here then, coming to rescue his little girlfriend from old 'Snivellus'…" Snape spat out his nickname. "Maybe it should be me rescuing her, and her friends, from you Lupin… that's usually the way isn't it?"

Remus' eyes darkened, and my grip tightened on his hand.

Severus continued "To think - a monster, an aberration, a freak such as you, allowed to roam a school… it's disgusting… far more dangerous than any of our 'funny' ideas…"

Before any of us could react, Lily had pulled out her wand and directed it at Snape's head. He looked momentarily stunned, before relaxing a little and sneering "You wouldn't, you don't have it in you."

"No", said Remus calmly, "She doesn't. Because she knows now that you're not worth it. You're pathetic Snape; you threw away your friendship with the only person who stood up for you despite all your prejudices. Just because you didn't want to be seen to need her help." He nodded towards Lily, who was looking fierce, but she lowered her wand.

Snape was silent, staring Remus straight in the eye with an expression of the deepest hatred on his face.

"I know you hate me, I know you hate Sirius and James - I might even acknowledge that you probably have good reason to - but if I ever see you bothering these three again, and if you ever open your filthy mouth to call any one of them a Mudblood again -I will hex you into oblivion."

Snape was speechless. We were all a little speechless. James and Sirius always goaded Snape - any threat from them was nothing new. But for Remus to threaten him… this was something different. Apparently it was to Snape too, as he opened and closed his mouth several times attempting, but failing, to respond.

"Cat got your tongue, Sev?" asked Becky, and we laughed.

"Shut it, you disgusting swarm of mudblood, inhuman frea-"

Snape's mouth kept moving, but nothing came out. He glared at Remus once again, who simply smiled calmly and said "I did warn you Snape…"

I stared up at my boyfriend in admiration…wandless magic - SO cool…

At this Snape turned and stormed off, pushing a few little Hufflepuff first years out of the way and holding his throat.

Becky and Lily stared at Remus, until their faces burst into smiles and they started laughing.

"That was amazing!!" exclaimed Becky.

"It really was! It, um, it will wear off won't it?" asked Lily, a little sheepishly. "I mean, I wouldn't want you to get in trouble for sticking up for us, Remus…"

Remus shook his head, "Yeah, don't worry, he'll be talking again by tomorrow morning at the latest I'm sure…" He smiled at us all. "Anyway, dinner time I think…"

We all set off to the Great Hall, Becky and Lily talking animatedly, and Remus and I behind them.

He wrapped his arm round my shoulders and bent his head to kiss me softly on the lips.

"I still can't believe you did that for me…"

"Why wouldn't I have done?" He stopped and turned round to face me. He looked into my eyes, seemingly searching them for something.

"I love you Zara… I'm in love with you."

For a moment I could do nothing except stare right back into his eyes, my heart was beating madly.

"I love you too".

He leant down to kiss me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I reached my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

After several minutes, I pulled away…

"Would it be too cheesy to tell you that you're my hero?" I asked, grinning up at him.

He turned and looked straight ahead, appearing to think seriously before turning back to me, smiling, and saying "You know, I think I could stand to hear that…"


	12. Chapter 11

_A/N: Once again it has been a horrendously long time since i updated. I'm afraid I have no excuse other than that university got in the way yet again. I do love writing this story though, and I really hope that some of you out there are still interested in reading the adventures of Zara, Remus and the rest of the Marauders... I'm in the midst of a writing frenzy, so expect at least three new chapters in the next few days! _

_Sorry again, please keep reading, and please let me know what you think - reviews, even negative ones, are always much, much appreciated._

_Disclaimer: .... Still not JK Rowling...._

**Chapter Eleven**

A week or so had passed since Remus and I had confessed our true feelings for each other. The weather was beginning to become more spring-like; the dark clouds which surrounded Gryffindor tower in winter were clearing, and flowers began to bloom in the grounds.

Quidditch season was getting into full swing, which meant that James was noisier and more boisterous than ever, and Peter was immensely excitable, just waiting for Gryffindor's next victory.

Everyone was looking forward to the next Hogsmeade weekend, which was coming up in a few days, the last weekend in March. A new cafe had opened in the village and we girls were looking forward to trying it out.

One unfortunate development that had occurred in the past week was the addition of extra Potions tutorials into my timetable. Having received yet another disappointing grade in our latest class test, Slughorn had suggested (in an exaggeratedly fake 'understanding' tone of voice) that I stay behind after class with an exemplary pupil in order to fix my "unfortunate lack of potion-brewing finesse".

For a brief moment, as Slughorn stared me down, I allowed myself to believe that the "exemplary pupil" might be Remus – he was, after all, very accomplished at Potions (and everything else.... lucky sod). But inevitably, given my luck, Slughorn had been referring to none other than Severus Snape. Bloody fantastic.

So it was that on Wednesday afternoon I found myself waving goodbye to Becky and Lily, receiving sympathetic looks, as they left the dungeons and I stayed behind to wait for Snape.

The dank corridor outside the Potions classroom was not a nice place to wait. Flickering torchlight shone above me, illuminating only dull brick walls and locked doors.

I looked down at my Muggle watch (a present from my aunty the Christmas before). It was 4pm and dinner was at 5. If Snape kept me waiting much longer, I'd have to go hungry. Not something I wanted to do after a one-on-one Potions session – I'd likely be depressed enough without starving to death...

As the hands on my watch hit 20 minutes past, and I had begun shivering from the cold, I heard footsteps on the stairs leading from the main castle. Not just one pair but several.

Brilliant. An encounter with a whole gang of Slytherins was just what I needed.

I looked up to see Snape, flanked by three others. I recognised Narcissa Black – a tall, blonde and almost skeletal 7th year. She was Sirius' cousin, and a shining example of everything he was not, and yet everything his family expected him to be: cold, calculating and unsociable. She stared down her nose at me, and smirked cruelly. Behind her was a chubby kid, sniggering – Crabbe, was it? I'd never really encountered him before. On Snape's left stood Regulus Black, 1st year Slytherin and little brother of Sirius. It was clear that he would one day share Sirius' striking features, but was still too baby-faced at present. He looked a little awkward, perhaps aware that I was a friend of his older brother, but he soon straightened his back and rearranged his face to match Severus' expression: pure loathing.

"What have we here?" said Narcissa, affecting a sickly sweet voice "Is this your pupil Severus? How very _charitable_ you are... taking inadequate Mudbloods under your wing... I say Dumbledore shouldn't have let her in the school in the first place... she obviously has pitifully little magical talent if she needs extra tutoring..."

Narcissa's voice was full of venom. Snape just looked annoyed by my presence. I fought back the urge to retort, not wanting to make matters worse.

I pushed off the wall and straightened up, giving Snape a blank stare.

"You think I want to be here? Tell your friends to bugger off and let's get this unfortunate occurrence over with."

"I'll do no such thing... it's me doing you the favour here Zara, you would do well to remember that". Snape was enjoying this.

"Fair enough. But wouldn't it also be better for you to get this tutoring done?" I adopted a smile and an innocent tone of voice "...then you can run along and do whatever you Slytherins do at night... hang upside down from the ceiling, lick slime off the dungeon walls..."

Regulus jumped forward and shook his wand at me: "Don't disrespect us, Zara. You don't know who you're dealing with".

Narcissa pulled Regulus back, rolling her eyes, "No, no Reggie" (I suppressed a giggle at the nickname) "Not here". She sounded bored; I guessed Regulus was always a little over-enthusiastic. "She's not worth the effort, and besides, nobody's around to see her humiliation..."

Narcissa smirked at me. I turned back to Snape.

"Right then... can we please just get this done now Severus – you were already 20 minutes late and now there's just half an hour till dinnertime."

Snape nodded grudgingly and I turned to Narcissa.

"Better get Reggie-boos to the dorm... getting a little grouchy... probably past his bedtime". I smiled and Narcissa glared at me, silently promising some future retaliation, before grabbing Regulus' cloak and shoving Crabbe in the direction of the Slytherin common room.

I wouldn't normally have answered back, but the thought of enforced time in a dungeon brewing potions with Snape had kicked off a spark of restless energy.

Perhaps as punishment for answering back to his friends, Snape made me concoct the most complex potion in our textbook, barking orders at me and throwing out the mixture every time I made a mistake. I guessed he had someone saving his dinner, as he just sat back and smirked with his feet on the desk, clearly enjoying every minute.

I would have walked out, but Slughorn had warned me I would not pass the year without attending these tutorials, so I bit my tongue. If I tried to complain to him about Snape's 'teaching' method who would Slughorn believe? Snape, the favourite? Or the class idiot? I didn't fancy my chances.

When Snape finally stood up and let me pack the equipment away, I noticed that it was 6.30pm – two whole hours had passed. I groaned.

"What's the matter Zara? _So_ sorry if I've kept you from those grubby little friends of yours and your filthy _werewolf_ lover... perhaps you'll think twice next time before you offend those whom I associate with".

I noted that he did not refer to them as friends. _Interesting_.

He cast me a smug glance and, before I could say anything in reply, he swept off round the corner towards his dormitory.

Fighting back tears, I eventually stumbled into the Gryffindor common room, to be greeted by six anxious faces. Remus, Sirius, Becky, Lily, James and Peter had been sitting by the fire but as I entered, they stood and dashed towards me.

I heard worried voices all speaking at once:

"Where have you been?"

"You should have finished at 5"

"We've been so worried"

"If that bastard did anything to her, I'll..."

Remus reached me first, and I fell into his arms, depressed and exhausted.

The soothing way he stroked my hair and held me to his chest set off the tears I had been suppressing for the past two hours.

I buried my face in Remus' shirt and felt him pick me up.

I found myself seated on the sofa with a cushion propped behind me, and Remus crouched down in front of me, his hands on my knees. The others surrounded him, and Becky sat down and put an arm round my shoulder.

"Tell us what happened" said Lily gently, and Remus nodded in encouragement.

I recounted the events of the past few hours, from the encounter with the Slytherins to the ridiculous way Snape had treated me.

When I mentioned Regulus, Sirius stood up and shouted "That slimy little s***, I'm gonna f***ing kill him!!" He knew what to expect from Narcissa, but I think a small part of him had hoped that Regulus would turn out better.

James pulled Sirius down to perch on the coffee table, but the fury still lingered in his eyes.

"It... it was partly my fault, I shouldn't have encouraged them... I, I just fell into their trap. Narcissa provoked me, and I should have ignored her..." I muttered, looking down at my hands.

"No, it's not that easy... no one could blame you". Remus smiled comfortingly at me and squeezed my knee. "Anyway, I think it's great you stood up to them. Too many people just let them have the last word... I do it too much myself". He looked thoughtful for a moment and then came to sit on the other side of me, pulling me into his arms. I instantly felt more cheerful.

"I can't believe Snape. I'm having a word with Slughorn tomorrow. The slimy bastard shouldn't be allowed to treat you like that under the guise of 'tutoring'. That's not tutoring, that's bullying!" Lily looked incensed. She was pacing in front of the fire, and I couldn't help but notice the awed expression on James' face.

"Yeah, Lils will sort him out" smiled Becky. "You know what she gets like when she sets herself a mission!" I giggled with her.

Being held by Remus and surrounded by fantastic friends made me feel protected and content. The dungeon seemed far, far away.

"Ooh, we brought you some dinner!!" James exclaimed. "When you didn't turn up by 10 past 5, we grabbed you a plate of sausages and mash, and then dessert was apple crumble..."

"...Which we know is your favourite" interjected Sirius "...so we took some of that as well!"

The pair of them grinned at me, and I found myself smiling widely.

James ran up to the boys' dorm, and returned with a steaming plate of sausages and mash, smothered in gravy.

I could have cried again with gratitude and, to be honest, surprise at the kindness these two most notorious pranksters were showing me. But then a thought hit me and I hesitated...

"This has been in your dorm?"

Sirius nodded.

"This food has been in your dorm?"

"Yessss..."

I looked at Remus. "How did they manage to bring it up here, and what have they done to it?" As much as I was a little concerned, I was trying hard to suppress laughter.

Remus grinned "I assure you it is edible. Sirius perfected his shrinking charm, so he shrunk the plate of food and carried it up here... it was just in our dorm so no-one in the common room would see it and eat it. James just used a re-heating charm on it." He looked so sincere and I was almost sure I believed him.

I turned to Becky and Lily who nodded and smiled. Reassured, I tucked into the food.

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_There we go... more to come soon... R&R please!!!_

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	13. Chapter 12

_A/N: So, as promised, here's another chapter! There's an especially long Sirius appearance in this one, and I think this chapter has a more serious tone than the rest. Not quite sure if i've pulled it off successfully, so any comments/ advice you could give me as to how i've written Sirius would be great!_

_I think this story will be wrapped up within a few chapters, when I finally bring it back to the 'present day' situation of chapter 1. I might manage to stretch it out to 20 chapters (maybe 5 more 'flashback' chapters and 2 'present day') so any suggestions about mini-storylines or characters you would like to see included are very welcome :)_

_Disclaimer: Definitely not JK Rowling... just playing around with her wonderful characters (until she writes a prequel of sorts about the Marauders, which she should DEFINITELY do... ahhh, that would be awesome!)_

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**Chapter Twelve**

That night we spent about another hour all sitting together, before splitting off.

James challenged Peter to a game of Wizard Chess; James always enjoyed games he knew he would win. The two moved to set up the board in one of the alcoves.

Remus went with Lily to the library to pick up some books for Care of Magical Creatures. I would have gone with them but I was just too comfy on the sofa.

Becky then left to meet Ciaran for an evening stroll about the castle, a mile-wide smile on her face as she left.

I stared contentedly into the fire, getting sleepier and sleepier. I hoped Remus would stay with me again, but I knew that he would be in the library for at least an hour and if I went to bed before he returned he would not want to wake me by coming up to my dorm.

Then an idea struck me. If I got into my pyjamas and went to _his_ bed, I could snuggle up there and he would find me when he got back.

I looked over at James and Peter – Peter was loudly demanding a re-match, and James was eager for another victory, so I was sure they would not be going up to the dorm for hours.

I had not noticed Sirius leave but he was not in the common room, so I figured he must have gone out. Probably had an appointment for a little extra-curricular activity with one of his fan girls in some empty classroom... Wouldn't be the first time.

Remus, Sirius, James and Peter were the only ones who shared their particular dorm so I concluded that I could successfully sneak up there without being caught.

I ran up to my dorm first, put on my pyjamas – as much as Remus loved the broomstick ones, I decided to go for something a little less cosy and a little more, well, sexy. I picked out a pair of purple shorts and a black tank top with purple spots and a lacy trim; nothing too shocking.

Throwing on my fluffy dressing gown and slippers, and scrawling a note for Becky and Lily explaining where I was and demanding a girly summit session in the Room of Requirement the next evening, I tiptoed down the stairs.

Looking into the common room I noted that it was almost empty – James and Peter were absorbed in their game and others were either engrossed in conversation or buried in piles of homework.

As quickly as I could without tripping over and causing a scene, I ran across to the other staircase.

Tiptoeing once more, I ascended the stairs and edged the dormitory door open quietly.

The room was dark so, smiling to myself, I lit a few candles – one on a shelf, one on Remus' bedside table. Bopping around happily, I did not notice the other person in the room until I heard the cough.

Turning round so fast that I hit my head on the post of Remus' bed, I saw Sirius sat in the window.

"Sirius! I, um, I thought you were out... you weren't downstairs so I thought you must have..."

I stuttered... what would he think I was doing, creeping around up here? I waited for the tormenting and teasing to begin. It didn't.

I looked closer, and I could have sworn there were tear marks on Sirius's face. He quickly wiped a hand over his eyes and turned back to the window.

"Sirius... are you okay? I'm sorry if I interrupted.... Do you want me to go, or...?" I edged closer to the window.

He looked up at me and smiled a somewhat vague, wobbly smile.

"No, stay... I didn't mean to scare you, sorry".

I sat down next to him on the window seat. "No worries, never takes much to send me tripping over or falling into something". I was pleased to see a stronger smile ghost across his face. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong? You don't have to... I could just sit here if you'd like..."

There was a long pause before Sirius spoke again.

"I can't stop thinking about what you told me about Regulus..." I nodded at him to go on. "It just brought back to me what a f***** up family I have. I mean, I can joke about it and take the piss out of them but, really, it just... well; it just makes me... sad".

He looked defeated and almost confused at his own confession.

I stayed quiet to let him continue. I could tell there was more he needed to say.

"I've always known I wasn't like them... and I used to think there was something wrong with me. They – my mother especially – made me think I was some kind of abomination... a freak. I was a freak for not believing in their crap... their twisted 'pure-blood' mania... It took me years, _years_, to realise that they were the messed-up ones, it was them who was wrong..."

He paused and gazed out of the window again. Night was falling fast, causing a chill in the room. I stood up and went to Sirius' bed, picked up his blanket and brought it to the window, wrapping it around his shoulders.

He nodded at me and I smiled my encouragement.

Sitting up a little straighter, he continued. "Regulus... I've always known he would be one of them, always. He's... he's just the type. Gullible. Easily brainwashed... and my mother's favourite. He's everything she wishes I could be..." A touch of bitterness entered his voice and I reached out to put my hand gently on his knee, calming him.

"I guess deep down, I always hoped he could be different... That perhaps he would grow up with a mind of his own and not be so easily swayed. He's my little brother... But what you told me just proved to me that he's with them now... with Narcissa and Bella and the lot of them... and I'm, well, I'm alone."

I decided now was the time to speak. "No, Sirius. You are not alone. You'll never be alone. You may not have a great family, but you've got friends who absolutely adore you... You have made such a difference to so many peoples' lives, by being strong, by refusing to be dragged into the Black family prejudices. As cheesy as this sounds, and you'll take the piss out of me later, we're your family now. Me, Remus, James, Peter, Becky, Lily... we all love you and no matter what, you will never be alone."

He smiled again and I decided to lighten the tone some more...

"I could list the names of many, many girls who love you too... but I'm not so sure that's a 'family' thing really..." I wiggled my eyebrows, and Sirius actually laughed.

"Thank you Zara, just telling you this stuff... just... You've made me feel better. I think the one thing that disturbs me most about all this is that" he paused, seemingly thinking how to phrase his next words "... I know, I just _know_ that one day this pure-blood business is going to come to a head. Things are going to get really bad, really dangerous. It's gonna happen fast. And when that day comes, the day when people like us have to stand up for the right thing... I know it will be them – my _family_ – on the other side... they'll be the ones we're fighting. And that fact makes me both ashamed, and terrified."

I struggled to find words. Sirius was right. He was exactly right. This whole business, the name-calling, the petty classroom feuds... it was part of something much larger, something which we would all become embroiled in. He was right about his family.

"I know" I stated. "You're right. One day it will come to that. But you mustn't be ashamed about your family, your name. You are not one of them. The fact that you turned out so great with such a f***** up childhood just proves that you are destined for great things. If they are going to be the enemies, the bad guys... then you'll be one of the heroes."

I looked out the window, a little embarrassed. I'd seen enough Muggle movies to know that there should have been some powerful string music playing behind my little speech...

When I ventured a glance back at Sirius, I was pleased to see him grinning from ear-to-ear. The trademark Sirius grin. _He's back!_

"Ever thought about a career in motivational speaking Zara? That was quite something..." He swung his legs off the window seat and stood up, offering me his hand.

I took it and pulled myself up.

"Hmmm", I pretended to think hard "... I may have to see if Dumbledore would like to hire me for the end of term feast... think I'd be a total hit..." I smiled. "Now, do you want a hug? Or do you want to just go off, do something obnoxious and forget this ever happened?"

"Can I do both?"

I grabbed him in a bear hug, before letting him go and be Sirius again.

As he reached the door he turned back...

"Anyway, what exactly are you doing here Zara? Remember – it is a school night, so if there are to be any noises of a lewd nature – perform a quick _silencio_ will you?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, sitting down on Remus' bed with a smile.

"Seriously though, thank you Zara. You're... you're a good mate"

"No problems... now go, and if you see Remus down there, tell him he needs an early night and send him up here." I winked at him.

Sirius threw his head back and laughed, before exiting the dorm and charging down the stairs.

I pondered the conversation with Sirius for several minutes. It was so bizarre, so unexpected to see him with his guard down like that. I hoped I had been able to help in some small way.

I made a decision not to mention mine and Sirius' conversation to anyone, not even Remus. If he chose to tell anyone, that was his choice to make. I was glad he had been able to confide in me, and would not break his trust.

_Right, where was I?_ I thought, and remembered my original reason for being in the boys' dormitory.

I took off my dressing gown and slippers and glanced in the mirror by the door. I had cleaned my face but left on a little eye make-up. As stupidly vain as it sounds, I never felt confident without at least a lick of eyeliner and mascara.

I looked at my watch – half an hour since I came up here. Remus shouldn't be too long.

I was now much less sleepy than I had been when I first made my plan. I had originally just wanted to fall asleep with Remus' arms around me, but now I was awake and looking forward to having some time alone with him.

_What do you want Zara?_ My mind was in overdrive. I had put on my nice pyjamas and left some make-up on... what was I doing? What did I want to happen when Remus came back?

We had been together for two months, and I was desperately in love with him... I realised, as I racked my brain, that I was ready for more. I wanted us to take the next step in our relationship.

_But tonight?_ Tonight seemed so... normal. A Wednesday night, classes at 9am. Perhaps not the best time to make a suggestion to Remus.

I decided to calm down, wait until he arrived, and see what happened.

I must have fallen asleep, because some time later I gradually became aware of a gentle light above me. Surely it wasn't morning? I awoke in a panic, lunging upward, only to be pulled gently back down by strong arms.

I turned and looked into Remus' eyes. He was lying on the bed alongside me, and the light was coming from a small lantern, bewitched to hang from the roof of the four-poster.

The metal of the lantern had been designed with star-shaped cut-outs, which meant that the candlelight cast bright little stars on the curtains around us. It was perfect.

"Hey", I whispered with a smile. "Um... surprise?"

"Hey to you too... and this was a _very_ good surprise. I was so disappointed when I realised you'd already gone to bed... I must have looked miserable, because Sirius told me to stop being so depressing and just go to bed..."

I smiled widely. _Thank you Mr Black._

"...And then I saw you, all curled up here... I think I might have had a heart attack if I had just opened the curtains and found you – luckily the fluffy slippers at the end of the bed gave me a hint..."

I blushed, and tucked my head into the crook of Remus' neck.

"I just didn't want to be without you... so I thought I'd make sure I got to spend the night with you." I smiled up at him and he returned it.

"Like I said... it was a very, _very_ good surprise". He bent down to kiss me and I slowly edged my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

Getting caught up in the moment, I moved on top of him, tangling my fingers into his unruly hair.

Remus pulled himself up so he was sitting, with me straddling his lap. He pulled away for a moment and looked deep into my eyes, that look that could make me melt...

"I love you Zara" he whispered, and the way he spoke those words combined with the way he was holding me and looking at me set off a burst of euphoria deep inside me.

"I love you too", I whispered in return, unable to stop myself from grinning...

Flashing me a wicked smile, Remus pulled my lips to his once again and I felt his hands moving decisively under my tank top, heading where I desperately hoped he would...

My hands went to the buttons of his shirt, fumbling to get them undone. Before I knew it I was yanking the shirt down his arms and running my fingers over the scars on his chest.

Then his lips were on my neck, teeth scraping gently, and I was lost.

Throwing all caution to the wind, I pulled my top over my head and frantically pushed my chest up against his.

Remus pulled away looking momentarily stunned, before I raised an eyebrow and gave him what I hoped was a 'what are you waiting for?' look. Never having done one of those before, I was a little unsure how it would turn out.

Apparently Remus understood the implication as he smiled his crooked smile and kissed me again, his hands moving to the top of my bra, stroking, teasing... Soon his lips followed his hands and the entirely new sensation made me grip onto his back even harder and moan loudly.

Just as an errant thought passed through my mind as to whether Remus had in fact performed a _silencio_ on the curtains surrounding the bed, I heard the mortifying sound of said curtains being pulled apart...

"HOLY CRAP! What in the....."

Breaking away from Remus and swinging my head around manically, I saw Peter stood at the end of the bed gawping open-mouthed at the sight in front of him – namely a shirtless Remus, with me – in just a bra and shorts – straddling him. _Why does this keep happening to us?_

"What the hell are you doing Peter?" shouted Remus as I buried my head in his shoulder.

"I... I, um" I heard Peter stutter, and then he blurted out "I needed help with, um, the Defence assignment... and you-you've d-done it, and Sir- Sirius told me you'd gone to bed and he said... um, n-now I come to think of it he did tell me I shouldn't disturb you, that I _really_ shouldn't disturb you, but I-I didn't understand w-why not, and – and, and I suppose, um, _this_ would be why...Sorry, s-sorry, I just...."

Knowing Sirius, after giving this warning, he'd probably left the common room to either meet a girl or set up a prank with James – inadvertently leaving Peter to his own devices. I silently thanked Sirius for trying to be subtle (_for once in his bloody life_) ... but wished – just this once – that he'd made some sort of inappropriate comment about _why _Remus was not to be disturbed: sometimes, the only way to get through to Peter is to be blindingly obvious.

Lifting my head up and turning round, I saw Peter's mouth open and close several times – making him look remarkably like a fish.

"Um, Peter..." He looked me in the eye, having been exaggeratedly attempting to look anywhere but. "Remus is a little busy right now... is there any chance you can bugger off and do your own homework? Please?" He still stood there "...like, NOW..."

I normally wouldn't have been so stroppy, but Peter had interrupted what was possibly going to be a massive step in mine and Remus' relationship.

He still stood there gawping, and I noticed his gaze had fallen a little way below my face...

"PETER!" The anger in Remus' voice snapped Peter out of his daze and he swiftly looked up at his friend "Stop staring at my girlfriend's chest and get the f*** out of here!"

"Yes... I...err, yes of course, I wasn't, wasn't.... yes I'm going"

With a hasty shuffle in which he attempted to find the direction of the door, Peter was gone.

Hearing the door slam behind me, I looked round at Remus. His amber eyes were flashing menacingly, bringing out the hint of stormy green. I had never seen him look so striking.

"So..." I began, bringing his attention fully back to me.

Suddenly it seemed the only thing to do was laugh, and Remus collapsed back on the bed in fits, pulling me with him.

When our hysterics subsided, I folded my arms on his chest and looked up at him.

"Do you think we're ever likely to get any peace around here?"

He smiled, "With my friends? Not bloody likely"

After a brief silence, I decided to voice my earlier thoughts.

"I am ready, you know. I mean, to take the next step. Since that time after the Ball, I've thought about it a lot and... I'm ready. If Peter hadn't rudely interrupted, I... I wouldn't have asked you to stop."

"I'm glad, because I don't think I would have been able to" Remus smiled and stroked my hair. "If you're ready, if you really know that you are... then I'd like us to take that step too. In fact, I don't think I've ever wanted anything more..."

With that he rolled us onto our sides, and wrapped his arms tight around me, kissing me softly but passionately.

As I sighed into the kiss, he pulled away.

"But.... not tonight."

I looked up at him and stuck out my bottom lip, pretending to sulk. (Or perhaps actually sulking... but I told myself I was just exaggerating for effect...)

"As much as I desperately want us to carry on", he punctuated each word with a light kiss across my jaw and down my neck "... it is very late, and we both have class at 9am, and I do not want to rush this with you."

As he looked deeply into my eyes, I understood exactly. This was far too special to both of us... rushing it would be a mistake, no matter how ready we both were.

"You big tease", I nudged him gently, smiling up at him "Can I stay here though? My bed will be so cold and you're really warm and cosy..."

He laughed "Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way."

I watched as Remus drew the curtain shut and pulled off his trousers so he was just in his boxers. He really was not making the frustration any easier to bear, and the smirk he shot me told me he knew exactly what he was doing.

Pulling the duvet up over us, I kissed him on the lips once, and turned around, wrapping myself in his arms and burrowing my head into the pillow.

Once I could control the insanely ecstatic smile that had spread across my face, I fell into a deep, comfortable sleep.

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_Awww.... reviewers get their choice of a meaningful conversation with Sirius or a cosy bedtime snuggle with Remus...or a chance to console Peter after his embarassment - if that's what floats your boat ;)_

_I know lots of people are reading this story.... could you please spare a moment for a quick line? THANK YOU!_


	14. Chapter 13

_Once again, sorry for the long gap between updates! Although by my usual standards a month and a half isn't too bad :S... _

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**Chapter Thirteen**

On the last Friday of March the castle was filled with excitable conversation about the approaching Hogsmeade weekend.

By dinner time, the hall was buzzing. With classes finished, and the weekend ahead, everyone was in a good mood. Even the enchanted ceiling was showing a beautiful evening sky – still blue, but with a hint of the pinky-orange sunset beginning to creep in.

Across the table from me, Sirius was perusing what looked like a Muggle motorbike catalogue. Peter was staring open-mouthed at the scantily-clad blonde who was draped over the massive silver bike on the front cover.

Noticing that Peter was gawping, James charmed a carrot to fly into Peter's open mouth and set him off choking. The table erupted in laughter – even Lily giggled (although I could tell she was trying to suppress it and readjust her face into an expression of disapproval...)

James simply looked thrilled to have gained a reaction from her.

Sirius flashed James a grin and returned to staring intently at his magazine. Sirius Black is only ever quiet when he is plotting something...

I leaned over to Remus, who was sitting next to me.

"What's up with Sirius?" I muttered, "Since when has he cared about Muggle bikes?"

Remus smiled and turned to me "Since he decided on his summer project". I looked puzzled, Remus continued, "He's going to buy a Muggle motorbike and charm it to fly."

Well, that sounded typical.

"Are you planning on helping him?"

"Might do, could be fun. Watching complex charms backfire on Sirius is always good entertainment." Remus smiled at me, and I couldn't help but return it.

As I turned back to my dinner, I caught a glimpse of a pained expression crossing Remus' face. I turned to him properly and noticed he had gone a few shades paler.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, not wanting to draw attention to him – Remus never liked anyone fussing over him.

"I, err... it's... it's a full moon tonight... makes me feel a little, um, off before I... so...." He looked down awkwardly.

Of course. How had I lost track? The past month had been such a blur of excitement that I had completely forgotten to keep up with the date. I put my hand on Remus' arm and squeezed lightly.

"Hey, look at me" I urged gently.

He slowly lifted his head, and my heart could have broken at the mournful expression on his face, the pain in his beautiful amber eyes.

"I'm so sorry I forgot... is there anything you'd like me to do? I could wait up for you in your dorm with a mug of cocoa and a blanket if you'd like?" I desperately wanted to do anything I could to make the ordeal a little better for him. I didn't even know if that was possible.

"No, no... I'll probably be going straight to the hospital wing" he said, with a note of glum resignation in his voice. "And anyway, you'll need your sleep ready for Hogsmeade tomorrow".

Hogsmeade. Wondering how I'd been so slow not to put the two together, I could feel the expression on my face falling into one of disappointment.

"So you won't be able to come then?"

Remus placed his hand over mine where they rested in my lap. It was almost farcical: the boy about to transform painfully into a wolf comforting the girl who would be spending the next day without her boyfriend. _I really need to start putting my problems into perspective..._

"I'm sorry, I can't. For starters, I'll be sleeping most of the morning, and secondly, when I do wake up I'll be in no fit state to be walking around in public. I really wish I could, it's our first weekend off since we've been together..." He looked down, a grim expression appearing on his face. "You- You should be with someone who can take you places, someone who doesn't have to reject you once a month." He pulled away from me.

I almost couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Excuse me? What was that?" I fought to keep my voice low, but looking at the defeated look on Remus' face was, oddly, turning my sympathy into frustration and anger. "Don't you dare say that Remus. You _know_ I don't care about that. Yes, I'm a little disappointed, but it's just a natural reaction... In the grand scheme of things, what does one Hogsmeade trip matter?"

He was avoiding looking me in the eye.

"That's how it starts though – one Hogsmeade trip, nothing really... but if I can't be there for you when you _need_ me, what good am I to you? Say in summer after exams, when everybody's relaxing in the sun and you wish I was sat with you, happy, carefree... where will I be? Lying half-dead in a hospital bed. Brilliant. What a great boyfriend I am."

He made the last statement with such bitterness, such self-hate in his voice, that I was rendered speechless. _Where had all this come from? Is this how he really thinks of himself?_

Remus' voice had been gradually rising as he became more and more caught up in his own frustration, and now those sat nearest to us had stopped eating and were staring.

Trying to stay calm, I spoke again.

"I understand. Trust me Remus, I do. But you have to believe me; you _have _to believe me when I say that I've thought all that through. I know there will be times – the odd few days a month – when I can't be with you. I coped fine last month because I knew the full moon was coming up... I was just silly this time; I forgot, which made me a little disappointed because I'd realised so late. That's all."

I reached out to touch his hand, but he pulled away, staring down at the table.

"No Zara, it's not good enough... I want to be there when you need me, I want to be a proper boyfriend to you... but I'm hopeless, you deserve more."

I couldn't understand how he had gone so quickly from the cheerful, passionate, enthusiastic Remus who had twirled me in his arms and kissed me just this morning, to this negative, brooding, _dark_ version of himself which now sat by me, determinedly not touching me.

No. I _did_ understand. He had turned in on himself. At the first sign of a problem in our relationship caused by his lycanthropy, the barriers had come up. He'd shut down.

It was his way of dealing. His way of taking the blame entirely on himself, for something he could not control. His way of safeguarding those he cared about.

I understood, but at that moment I was furious. Too annoyed to find the words to make him feel better. Not even sure I _could_ find the right words.

"Fine. If that's how you want it, I'll just go and leave you to wallow in self-pity. I'll be in the common room... You have me, and you have your friends. We don't give a shit about your problem. It's not a part of _you_, and it's _you_ that I you realise this, and get over yourself, you can come find me."

He glanced at me briefly, and the defeated look on his face told me I'd be waiting a while.

"I understand what's caused this, but if I have to take one more minute of this crap over a bleeding Hogsmeade trip, I'll hex you so bad you'll be in the hospital wing a hell of a lot longer than a weekend."

Realising that our table had fallen completely silent, and that my voice had risen somewhat louder than a low mutter, I stood up too fast, sending my glass of pumpkin juice toppling straight into James' soup.

Without a look back, I stormed out the hall.

As I passed the end of the Slytherin table, I saw Snape in the corner of my eye, smirking at me. Of course his hawk-eyes had witnessed the whole tense exchange.

"Looks like little Red Riding Hood's learnt to be afraid of the wolf" I heard him mutter, followed by sniggering from his classmates.

Too upset by Remus' behaviour to retaliate, I continued on my way out of the hall. Once I had rounded the corner I broke down into tears.

It shocked me how small and insignificant a matter – one Hogsmeade weekend – had caused such a reaction in Remus. Wishing I had a Time Turner so I could undo the past five minutes, I dawdled slowly up the staircase to Gryffindor Tower.

_It wouldn't do any good_, observed the little voice in my head. _Even if the lycanthropy issue had not been raised today it would have reared its furry head some time soon. It's inevitable. Remus may present a calm, cool exterior but no doubt this is in part a mask for his fears of rejection..._

Had it been immature and inconsiderate to snap at him? Had I now exacerbated the problem by causing a scene? _I wonder what's going on in the Hall now?_

I sat in the common room for about fifteen minutes before I heard the portrait swing open and footsteps rushing in.

"Zara! There you are... are you okay?"

Becky and Lily hurtled round the sofa where I was curled up and knelt down in front of me, looks of concern on their faces.

"Yes. I suppose. Feel a bit silly... should have known this would happen, it was wrong of me to flare up like I did."

"No, no" Lily said firmly, "It was a perfectly natural reaction. His total negative mood swing came out of the blue and you didn't know how to handle it. Don't worry – I think either of us would have done the same thing".

She looked at Becky, who nodded her head sympathetically and came to sit next to me on the sofa.

Feeling fractionally better, I asked them what I had missed after my rapid exit.

"Well", Lily began, settling into the armchair, "There was a weird silence after you left for at least a whole minute until everyone started talking again. Sirius tried to make some sort of PMS joke – you know, Remus being moodswingy because it's his 'time of the month' etcetera... "

_Typical._ I sighed. I couldn't see how that would have helped the situation.

"...Remus just glared. He really looked daggers at Sirius. Never seen him look that angry. Peter said something about Remus having really screwed up and Remus went for his wand – I really thought it was going to blow up... or maybe that Peter would blow up - you know, in a literal exploding sense - but then James intervened. He pulled Remus up from the table and muttered something in his ear – don't know what – but Remus walked out of the Hall and James followed. Think he's still talking to him somewhere."

_Ugh. What a mess..._

"Should I go and find him?" I asked in a small voice.

Becky looked at Lily before answering.

"I think you should wait for him here, give him time to cool off. He's probably a bit embarrassed and awkward right now. James, despite his unfortunate lack of subtlety -" (Lily snorted) "- is good in these types of situations. He'll make sure Remus is okay."

I desperately hoped Becky was right about that.

After another few minutes of comforting, Lily fetched a pack of cards and we played a game of Exploding Snap.

A little while later, I decided that I needed a walk to clear my head. Sitting sobbing in front of the fire for over an hour had left me feeling somewhat dizzy, lethargic and puffy-faced. Besides, with the common room filling up it was only a matter of time before someone came over to ask what all the fuss was at dinner.

As I wandered aimlessly, I thought back on the events of the past couple of hours.

It was one of those situations where neither of us was really right or wrong. I couldn't be too angry at Remus because his lycanthropy weighs on him terribly and it's only natural to feel defeated at times. On the other hand, I was angry at the implication that I was ready to run from our relationship at first sign of his lycanthropy causing difficulties. Did he really think I was that shallow?

The nagging little voice at the back of my head kept asking that question.

I found myself strolling down a long, narrow corridor with dark portraits hanging on either side of me, all of which appeared to be in heavy-looking embossed frames. The corridor was very gloomy, lit only by a few candles which threw out a meagre yellow light. Several of the portraits' occupants turned to watch me pass, one or two pointing and whispering to each other behind their hands.

Where had I got to? I had no idea how long I had been walking – I could have been miles from the common room.

_Just bloody brilliant. Lonely, miserable, and now lost. Nice one Zara._

Turning around with the intention of attempting to retrace my steps, I found myself colliding with something hard and warm.

"Zara...is that you?"

I looked up.


	15. Chapter 14

_Thanks for your reviews! Here's chapter 14... the angst continues..._

**Chapter 14**

For a moment my heart had leapt, hoping to see Remus standing over me.

Instead I looked up into James Potter's face, the dim candlelight reflecting in his glasses.

"Oh, it's you..." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice.

"Oooh, I'm practically glowing in the warmth of _that_ welcome..." James muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sorry James, I just... I thought you might be someone else."

I started walking, hopefully in the direction of Gryffindor tower. James caught up to me. "Ah, I see. Would this 'someone' be a certain sulky bastard who's been acting like a total prick for the past few hours?"

I cocked my head to the side and looked up at James. "Sounds about right." I looked at the floor, and tried to adopt a casual tone, which came out far too high-pitched to sound natural. "Have you seen him? Lily mentioned you were talking to him..."

"Yes, I've just left him actually." James put his hands on my shoulders, turning me round to look up at him. "Look, I know he was an idiot back there... He's been one of my best friends for nearly five years; trust me when I say that you've done nothing wrong, he just gets like this sometimes. He lives with this terrible condition and no matter how much we try to distract him, from time to time it just gets too much and he mopes for a bit. Can't really blame the poor bugger"

I attempted to smile, and James pulled me into a brief hug.

"You make him really happy. He knows he was a fool to upset you and he's really sorry. He snapped out of the mood pretty quickly once I got him away from the Hall. Think he realised how hurt you were... He's worried he's lost you now."

James examined me for a moment, as though attempting to assess whether Remus was right to worry.

"Of course he hasn't! I love him more than anything. I just got a little spooked that's all... and I think that's understandable..."

"It is, and I told him that. Think he was starting to understand but then he had to go."

"Go where? I'm going to find him and sort this out, I can't stand the thought of him wandering round all unhappy..."

I started to march ahead more purposefully but James pulled me back.

"You can't Zara... full moon remember?"

_Oh yes. _I'd forgotten again. _Wasn't forgetting about Remus' lycanthropy the reason we got into this mess in the first place?_

James continued "He's in the Shrieking Shack ... and I wouldn't recommend going over there; if he gets this upset when he thinks he's hurt your feelings imagine what he'd do if he ate you..."

James grinned. _Oh yes, hilarious._

At my stony expression, James coughed and carried on walking, muttering "note to self: werewolf-eats-girlfriend jokes not appreciated by girlfriend in question..."

He turned to me, nudging me. "Don't worry, I'm headed over there now with the guys to keep him company. He'll be okay and you can talk in the morning. Just... be patient with him. He usually runs away from any prospect of commitment before the full moon issue arises – you're the only girl he's ever really let in."

"I know. And I will be patient. Just wish I didn't have to wait till morning to see him. Oh well, I'll be waiting outside the hospital wing at dawn."

After that, James accompanied me back to the main corridor and then slipped through a secret tunnel behind a large statue of a knight.

* * *

I barely slept that night and when I did sleep, it was fitful.

Images of a wolf kept flitting across my mind.

Several times I heard howling in my dreams, only to wake to a room cloaked in silence.

Eventually, at about 5 o'clock in the morning, I decided it was a reasonable time to make my way to the hospital wing.

I hastily through on a pair of jeans and a stripy jumper and poured a bottle of butterbeer (from the stash under my bed) into a flask and stowed it in my schoolbag. Then, sneaking up to the boys' dorm, I collected a pile of textbooks and parchment from Remus' bedside table and stuffed them into my bag too: if Remus had to stay in all day, he'd at least want to do something useful with the time.

Looking around before I left the dorm, I noticed that all the beds were empty. _Odd_. Surely Sirius, James and Peter usually came back to the dorm early so as to avoid being found at the Shack in the morning.

I didn't dwell too much on this puzzle, instead going over in my head what I would say to Remus and looking forward to making up.

As I arrived at the Hospital Wing, I put my ear to the door, listening for any movement inside.

I heard voices speaking in hushed tones, although the volume could not hide the frantic pace of the muttering.

Then there were footsteps and a louder voice spoke up, a voice I recognised to belong to Professor McGonagall...

"Mr Black, Mr Potter, Mr Pettigrew; if you could run along back to your dorms please, you can come back later-"

"But Professor, we can't just-"

"NO. Back to your dormitory now. And no more backchat from you Sirius Black."

_Why were they all in there? What was Professor McGonagall doing?_

As I tried to hear more, the footsteps grew louder and I had only just moved away before the door burst open to reveal Sirius, James and Peter; all ashen-faced and scruffy.

They froze when they saw me.

"Wh-what's going on?"

Sirius just stared at me while Peter looked anxiously up at James.

Having noticed the boys' sudden halt, Professor McGonagall appeared behind them, her eyes widening when she saw me.

"Zara!"

Her expression became pitiful, and she pushed past the boys to take my arm.

"What-"

"You had better come with me, dear."

Sirius attempted to interject once more, but was cut off by the expression on McGonagall's face.

"You – back to bed. NOW."

I thought I could hear muttering as they shuffled away, but by that stage my mind was too full of questions and an unnerving sense that something was horribly wrong... the feeling of moving in slow-motion towards something inevitable.

I walked into the Hospital Wing, vaguely registering rows of empty beds before coming to a stop at the end of one.

Looking up I saw a scene that made my heart stop briefly before I began to hear it beating frantically in my ears. My eyesight blurred at the edges, blocking out everything except the figure on the bed.

To this day, the image can bring tears to my eyes.

Remus was lying in the centre of the bed, unconscious. His face was pale except for a long, red cut that began above his left eyebrow and continued down his cheek to the side of his mouth. Luckily, the scratch had missed his eye.

I noticed that he had been dressed in the pyjamas which are always given out for anyone staying in the Hospital Wing. His chest was bare, and a maze of red lines criss-crossed it; some not as bad as the cut on his face, some worse.

My breath catching in my throat, I saw that the worst cuts were four parallel ones which ran from just below his neck to the top of his hip bone.

As I stared in stunned silence, Madam Pomfrey came rushing to the bed with a bowl filled with a greenish ointment.

The room was filled with a strong herby scent as she began to spread the concoction over Remus' wounds, beginning at his neck.

As I was on the verge of asking what had happened to him, my brain suddenly clicked back into action.

_He did this to himself. Well, the wolf did this to him._

Unable to hold back, I rushed over to the side of the bed and grabbed Remus' left hand, squeezing it tightly. With my other hand I pushed back the hair from his face and kissed his forehead and then his lips, not caring that my House Mistress was watching.

He didn't make any movement.

"Zara, sit down dear."

When I stayed standing, McGonagall gently pushed me into a chair and sat down next to me.

"I know this looks bad, but I assure you Madam Pomfrey can heal him. There will be scars, yes, but he will be mostly as good as new in just a few days. Maybe a little shaken up, but perfectly healthy."

I heard McGonagall walk away and I looked back up at Remus' face. He looked so peaceful, it was hard to imagine the frenzy of clawing and biting which must have occurred only a few hours previously when the beast had been in control of Remus.

_Why had this happened now? I thought the point of Sirius, James and Peter becoming Animagi was that they could prevent this?_

I needed to speak to them, but I did not want to leave Remus alone...

"Zara, dear, would you mind taking a walk? I need to apply more of this healing salve and give him another dose of the revival potion"

Madam Pomfrey had appeared on the other side of the bed clutching a large bowl and a bottle of purple liquid.

Nodding silently, I kissed Remus' cheek and walked reluctantly out of the Hospital Wing to find James, Sirius and Peter sat around in the hallway outside, looking tense and anxious.

I looked at each of them in turn and began to walk down the hall, beckoning them to follow.

Hearing their footsteps behind me, I opened a door to an empty classroom and let them walk in ahead of me. I closed the door.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HIM? WHAT DID YOU DO?"

* * *

_Please Review! Not sure I'm great at writing angsty stuff, so I am hoping to lead the story back into more light-hearted territory soon :) Leet me know what you think!_

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	16. Chapter 15

**A/N. Hello again! Well, once more it has been a horrendously long time since I updated, so my apologies for that. This chapter is dedicated to all the lovely reviewers who have prompted me to carry on with this :) The good news is, I have found my inspiration again and I have at least three days ahead of me to do nothing but write! As a matter of fact I am continuing as soon as I've posted this.**

**The story picks up directly where I left off... I hope it's worth the wait! (Although I admit this is more of a short (but necessary!) filler before we move on...)**

* * *

"I thought this wasn't supposed to happen to him now, now that you are Anim-"

"SHHHH! Keep it down will you!" James interrupted loudly. "That's confidential..."

"Screw your little secret – right now I couldn't give a crap."

"Hey-" Peter looked indignant, but was silenced by the look on my face.

"Please, just tell me", I implored them quietly, feeling my eyes well up. "What happened?"

James and Sirius shared a glance before James cleared his throat and began.

"Well, when I saw you earlier I was heading down to the Shrieking Shack. We were by the Whomping Willow about to transform when Snape appeared with a couple of other Slytherins. They'd been waiting for us."

Sirius shook his head, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. "They attacked us, and we were caught off guard."

"Are- are you okay?"

"Yeah, it wasn't a serious attack...just a few stinging hexes and whatever. Luckily Snape's cronies were mostly incompetent fools. They just wanted to distract us and hold us up. Snape knew where we were going. We reckon he wanted to get back at Moony for hexing him the other day."

Peter coughed and chipped in, looking a little red-faced. "I got Stupefied and fell backwards onto a tree root. I, err, passed out for a bit-"

James grabbed Peter's shoulder. "It wasn't your fault. The whole thing with the Slytherins lasted about an hour, but then we couldn't transform till the hexes had worn off. Sirius got hit with a pretty nasty Confundus charm – wasn't a very efficient one, think it was that big dumb thug that tried it – but he was out of it for at least half an hour."

Sirius looked shame-faced.

"Once we were recovered Remus had been transformed for at least two or three hours. We transformed and made our way into the Shack... but it was too late, he was already hurt, and..."

Sirius interjected "It was horrible. He was conscious, but there was blood everywhere, and he was just lying... We tried to stop the bleeding, but there was nothing we could do until he changed back at dawn."

The three of them were deathly pale. James steadied himself on a desk.

I didn't know what to say, but after a long moment I spoke quietly.

"Prof-Professor McGonagall says he's going to be okay, he'll make a full recovery."

James nodded. "We're so sorry Zara. We should have-"

"There was nothing you could have done, none of this was your fault. Come on, we should go back to the common room"

We made our way back to the common room in silence. It was now about 6am, and as we entered the red, circular room the early morning sun was streaming through the tall, narrow windows. The stained glass panels were casting light across the room and creating a patchwork of colour across the floor.

The school was silent, and I welcomed the chance to curl up in an armchair knowing that no-one else would be around for another few hours. It was a Saturday morning, so no-one would be up for breakfast until 9.

The three boys stood around looking a little awkward.

"Sit down." I said quietly, knowing they were as shaken as I was, probably more so given their run-in with Snape.

James collapsed into the armchair opposite, while Sirius and Peter settled onto the sofa.

Two further questions about the previous night had been forming in my mind.

"So, if Snape had got a gang together to intercept you, does that mean the other Slytherins know about Remus' lycanthropy?"

Sirius was quick to step in.

"No. No, we're pretty sure they don't. Snape wouldn't DARE tell anyone after Dumbledore had sworn him to secrecy. Obviously Snivellus knew what was going on in the Shack, but we reckon he just told the others they were intercepting a random Marauder venture. They were shouting all kinds of insults, and they never mentioned werewolves..."

"I'm pretty sure Snape suspects something about us being Animagi though", added James. "Why else would be decide to come after us tonight? He knows we check on Remus during the full moon."

"He might know that, but he probably won't have figured out how we're doing it", said Peter. "I mean, becoming Animagi is advanced magic. I doubt he'd guess"

"Maybe. Let's hope so anyway. We need to exercise extra caution though; we shouldn't get cocky."

Despite the dire circumstances, I snorted. That was rich, coming from James Potter of all people.

One more thing was bothering me. "Why was it so bad though? Is this what Remus' transformations were like before you were there to look after him?"

Sirius looked up. "No. I mean, it was bad in those days, but not quite like this. We think-"

He paused and looked up at James, who gave him a warning glance and shook his head.

Sirius sighed. "She needs to know, James, it's only fair."

I looked between them for a moment while they stared each other down, seemingly holding a silent conversation.

"Um, guys, what do I need to know?"

James held his hands up and sat back in his chair while Sirius moved to the edge of his seat and turned to face me.

"The physical effects of Remus' transformations are usually connected to his emotions and mood at the time he transforms. The wolf is sort of a primal force ruled by instinct and gut feeling... So for example in the early days when he was transforming alone, he used to hurt himself more because he was isolated. He took out all his self-pity and misery and frustration on himself. But when we started joining him, the whole thing became more, well, _fun._ We could plan adventures for the full moon. Not only did our company make him less dangerous to others, but we kept him safe from himself. The fear and loneliness he used to associate with the full moon became lessened."

I felt a sinking sensation in my stomach, as realisation dawned on me. Remus had been severely depressed yesterday.

"No..."

James stood and came to perch on the arm of my chair, grabbing my hand.

"This isn't your fault Zara."

"But it is! He was upset because of me! It was a ridiculous argument and I should have gone to find him and sort it out but I didn't. I'm so STUPID. And now he's hurt, and -"

"No." Sirius interrupted. "He was depressed, yes, it was a bad day. But if we had been there last night we could have stopped him hurting himself. This is their fault, Snape and those Slytherins."

Peter shuffled along the sofa and handed me a box of tissues from the coffee table.

I knew Sirius was right, but I still felt awful. The image of Remus lying in that hospital bed was haunting me.

"This calls for revenge. They do NOT get to do this to us, to Moony, and get away with it." Sirius was on his feet now, pacing in front of the fireplace.

"Damn right. Snape's gonna pay." James had that glint in his eye now. The one that always appears when formulating a plan against his arch-enemy...

"I really don't think you should do anything."

The three of them looked at me, expressions of disbelief spread on their faces.

"What? This is THEIR fault Zara!"

"I know, I know. It's just... it's an endless chain. They hurt you, you hurt them... One of these days you'll get in real trouble. As if _this_ wasn't bad enough!"

"Oh come on! You expect us to sit around and do NOTHING? Our best friend is lying there half dead because of them! It keeps on going because THEY. WON'T. STOP."

Sirius was getting all fired up now, and I really couldn't face an argument. As much as I wished they would stop their scheming, I couldn't bring myself to fight a losing battle.

Sirius and James huddled over the low table and Peter fetched parchment and quills from the cabinet under the window. Soon they were chattering away, absorbed in their plans. There they were - the Marauders. An unstoppable force when they put their heads together. Once they had set their mind on something, nothing would stop them, least of all me.

I slipped away unnoticed and made my way quietly back down to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

**So the angst continues, but I promise it is coming to an end! And Remus will be back in the next chapter... Let me know what you think in the reviews! Thank you!**


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N. As promised, here's the second chapter of the day! A much longer one this time, moving things forward a bit... or at least moving things to where they were before the incident...**

* * *

I woke up some time later to the sound of whispering and felt someone gently shaking my shoulder.

"Zara? Zara..."

I recognised Lily's voice.

_Was I back in my dorm?_

"Zara, it's half past eight, you're still in the hospital wing..."

Opening my eyes, I saw Remus in front of me, lying as still and silent as before.

I felt a cramp in my shoulder. It was no wonder – I had fallen asleep in the chair by Remus' bed, resting my head by his arm and holding his hand.

A quick scan of the patient revealed that his wounds were healing, although the scars would clearly remain severe for some time. There was a little more colour in his face though, which I took to be a good sign. He looked far less comatose than he had earlier, in fact he could have been napping...

"Zara..."

Lily's voice drew my attention away from Remus.

"Lily, I'm sorry, I-"

"Shh, don't worry. Are you alright? I came down to the common room half an hour ago and Sirius told me what happened. He looked pretty shaken up."

I noticed Lily was still in her pyjamas and wrapped in a fluffy red dressing gown which clashed dramatically with her mass of red hair, currently spilling untamed over her shoulders.

"Becky's been here too, she's just gone to fetch you a jumper and a cup of tea".

"Thank you." I grabbed Lily in a hug. When we pulled apart she dragged a chair over and sat down, gripping my hand.

"How is he?"

"Well he looks a little better than earlier. When I first came down here he was... You should have seen him Lily." My voice was beginning to break up.

Lily shook her head. "I can't believe this happened. He doesn't deserve this."

"I just wish I hadn't left him alone yesterday, maybe he wouldn't have ended up in this state."

"You can't say that. There was no way you could have known."

We sat in silence for a short while, until Becky came back in, levitating three steaming mugs of tea in front of her and carrying my woolly Gryffindor jumper. I couldn't help but smile. The previous Christmas my friends and I had decided to take a DIY approach to presents – Becky had knitted me the squishy red jumper, emblazoned with a very cuddly-looking golden lion, which had proved excellent for chilly January Quidditch matches. She knew how much it would cheer me up.

Becky pulled up a chair and the three of us sipped our tea and watched Remus, lost in our own thoughts.

Then it dawned on me – I had been so caught up in my worries that I had completely forgotten what day it was.

" You two should be getting ready for Hogsmeade! Aren't you supposed to leave in an hour?"

"We're not going – we'd rather stay here", said Becky, smiling.

"Yeah, we don't want to leave you here alone", Lily chipped in.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it, but I'm fine, really. A bit shaken, yeah, but I'm okay. I don't want you to miss out, and you can tell me all about it this evening – in fact some gossip would be an excellent distraction"

Lily and Becky looked at each other and then back at me, sceptical expressions on their faces.

"Seriously! You should go. I'm going to stay here till Remus wakes up, it might not be long – Madam Pomfrey said the anaesthetic effects of the potions would start to wear off by morning".

Having established that I was alright and would not back down any time soon, Lily and Becky left.

I looked up at the clock on the wall. Ten past nine. Over four hours had passed since I had first come down here. I grabbed Remus' hand again, and this time I felt him respond.

"Remus. Remus! You're awake!" I jumped up and leant over him, brushing his hair from his forehead.

Two green-grey eyes flickered open and looked up at me.

"Zara?" His voice was hoarse, and he coughed violently, sitting up and holding his stomach as he winced with pain.

I sat on the edge of his bed and held him as he recovered his breath and lay down again.

"Shh, stay still – your wounds are still quite fresh, you don't want to open them again."

I moved back to the chair to give him space, but kept hold of his hand and shuffled closer.

"What happened? I – I remember going into the Shack alone and- and then there was blood an-and then- then I was here and S-Sirius was shouting and then... then there was nothing... What... what happened last night?"

I told him the whole story, watching the anger and hurt spread over his face as I filled him in on his friends' encounter with the Slytherins.

As I finished the story, Remus nodded silently and slowly pulled himself up. I reached over and propped up the pillows behind him.

He settled back against them and turned to look at me.

"Zara I am so sorry-"

"No, _I'm_ sorry"

"I shouldn't-"

"NO. Yesterday was my fault, I was inconsiderate and then... I should have come to find you, but I let you go on thinking I was angry, and then you were on your own and-"

"You had every right to be angry, Zara, I- the way I behaved at breakfast yesterday was appalling. I don't- I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You of all people..."

He reached out and wiped a tear off my cheek, smiling slightly.

I gripped his hand more firmly. "You know I don't care about the werewolf thing, you _know_ I don't, and- and you were just so determined to push me away."

"I know. And I _know _you don't care, I do. It's just- sometimes it's easy to let the doubts take over".

"I understand." We shared a smile, and he moved over to let me climb up next to him.

I rested my head on his shoulder, careful not to press on his wounds. "So, are we okay?" I asked hesitantly, turning to nuzzle his neck, relishing the warmth and familiar feel of his arm wrapped around me.

_I love him. I love him._

I could feel him smile above me. "Yes, yes, we're okay – if you still want me".

I sat up and kissed him firmly on the mouth. "How could I not? Anyway, I think this new scar down your cheek makes you look especially sexy and mysterious. Sort of dangerous and exciting..."

For a split second I worried I might have said the wrong thing altogether. _You called him dangerous? Stupid, stupid girl._

Luckily he took my statement as I meant it and laughed, giving me his best roguish grin before pulling me down for another kiss.

"You want me for my scars now? All about the looks are we?"

"Hmm well, as much as I do enjoy looking at you, I kinda like the whole package. Looks, personality, brain, furry-little-problem – everything. Even the dumb-ass friends that come free with the rest..."

Remus smiled at me in that way that always caused me to melt inside. "I'm glad. Now I just want to get out of here and get back to normal. When can I leave? Did Madam Pomfrey say anything to you?"

"How about I go and fetch her – she'll be wanting to check on you now you're awake anyway."

I kissed him before standing up. "I love you".

"I love you too".

Sure enough Madam Pomfrey wanted to check up on Remus and so she shooed me out of the Hospital Wing.

I positively skipped up to the common room, feeling happier than I would have thought possible at the start of the day. After a bath I changed into jeans and a long-sleeved blue t-shirt and settled down in the common room, nestling into the window alcove with a book. Before long I heard shouting and laughing outside the portrait door, followed by the appearance of Sirius, James and Peter, all of whom were looking significantly more cheerful than when I had last seen them.

"Did you not go to Hogsmeade?" I piped up from the alcove.

Sirius turned around. "Oh, hi Zara! Nope. Well, not _officially_ anyway. We may or may not have had some business in a certain joke shop. And we may or may not have used a variety of devious means to procure certain items from said shop..."

"Hmm, I see. Sounds like fun. I mean, why go on an approved outing with the whole school when you can go to exactly the same place crammed together under an invisibility cloak whilst running the risk of being caught using forbidden passageways out of the school."

James and Sirius looked at each other.

"I say Padfoot, do you think our penchant for troublemaking may have gone too far? Are we becoming trouble junkies?"

"_Becoming_?"

The pair laughed and settled down in squishy armchairs. As James pulled out a packet of Exploding Snap cards he turned to me.

"We stopped in to see Moony on our way back but we had to leave after ten minutes because Dumbledore wanted a word with him".

Seeing the concern in my face, Sirius spoke up. "He's not in trouble or anything. Why would he be? Dumbledore just likes to check on him every now and again, see how he is. He knows how rough things can be for Remus and I think he worries. Last night being especially bad and all..."

"Anyway, he looks much better doesn't he?" Peter chipped in, smiling. "Pomfrey told him he'd be back up here before dinner."

I spent the afternoon in the Library finishing my DADA homework and pondering just how useful it was to learn Defence by theory alone. It's one thing reading defensive spells on the page and quite another making them work in reality. That's what Remus always said anyway. In fact he had followed it up with a story about Peter's encounter with a boggart while staying with the Potters the previous summer. Hearing the boggart banging around in the kitchen cupboard, Peter decided to face it with the Riddikulus charm. Vampires were Peter's worst fear, and so he planned to entangle the boggart-vampire in a long string of garlic bulbs. Remembering the word "Riddikulus", but having had no practise with the wand movement, he used the wrong gesture entirely and accidentally tied himself up in a string of garlic. Which is how he was found an hour later by Remus and James.

Drawing a careful green line under my essay on 'Grindylows and How to Identify Them', I cleared up my books and inkpot and made my way back to the common room. The hustle and bustle around me as I hurried through the halls indicated that everyone was back from Hogsmeade.

Clambering through the portrait-hole I was greeted by a familiar face and a knee-weakening smile.

"You're back!" I yelped and threw myself into Remus' arms.

"I am", he whispered next to my ear.

Pulling back to look at me he told me he had been coming to find me, as everyone was about to head to the Hall for dinner.

Having dropped my bags into an armchair I paused to look more closely at Remus. He was still a little paler than usual, and no doubt the new scar on his face would attract some curiosity, but apart from that he looked just fine. Well, much better than 'fine'. Positively yummy in fact. He was wearing a dark grey jumper over a white shirt (top buttons open), with a pair of faded, frayed jeans. His sleeves were rolled up a little, showing off his lovely arms. His hair, as always, was falling just into his eyes. _Just perfect. _

Although after yesterday, and the trauma of last night, he could have been wandering around in house-elf rags and I'd still be ecstatic just to have him here with me again.

"Are you sure you're feeling better?" I looked down at a particularly angry-looking scratch snaking up his right arm and disappearing under his sleeve at the elbow.

He lifted my chin with a finger. "It looks worse than it feels. I'm fine, I promise. It's taken a little longer than usual, but the healing potions worked a charm."

"Good, I'm glad."

Twining my arms around his neck I kissed him. I intended it to be a fleeting peck on the lips, but he quickly deepened the kiss until we were both breathless and I was positively clinging to his shoulders. He smiled wickedly, but as he lowered his lips to mine again we were interrupted by a loud yell of -

"GET A ROOOOOOMMMM!" And several whoops and yells from surrounding Gryffindors.

Taking this as our cue to head down to dinner, we left hand-in-hand, chatting happily all the way to the Hall.


End file.
